The Little Guy's School Pic

Words this makes me think of: brat, devil, brat, ornery, thankful (I don't have to raise him)

General Update

I hope everyone and their property fared well during the recent torrential rains. While I personally didn't have any property issues, I apparently missed the memo that some of the towns between my house and work were built on a flood plain. Getting home was a challenge last Friday night. Here's some pics of the flooding nearby:

http://www.kansas.com/static/slides/091208flooding/
http://www.kansas.com/static/slides/091208readerspics/

My apologies for the wait between updates, but there really hasn't been a lot going on. E is doing really well. My mother called to talk to him the other day and she said she had a really nice discussion with him. He was polite and funny and I could tell by her tone that she was pleasantly surprised.

E actually called CR on her birthday. While I did remind him, I sort of expected him to send her a text message. I talked to her later in the day and I could tell she was really surprised he called too. He talked to her for a few minutes and then he abruptly ended the conversation with, "Well, I've got things to do so I've gotta go." In the old days he would have just hung up on her. So he's still making progress.

He's also been taking the responsibility to re-schedule his counselor appointments. Its only happened a couple of times, but that's still a big step forward.

This week, he has an appointment to see if he qualifies for "vocational rehabilitation". I'm not 100% sure what that is, but everyone I've talked to about him says it will be good for him, so we're going. But he also has an appointment with his med dr. that same afternoon. I told him I can't take off work for 2 appointments in one day so he can either reschedule the med dr. or he can go by himself. He said he'd go by himself.

Actually the new cocktail of drugs has been working really well for him. He doesn't have huge mood swings. He doesn't get angry and fly off the handle. He jokes around and laughs a lot.

Now if only I could find a way to pay for his meds, life would be great!

Labor Day Weekend

E and I drove to TX for Labor Day weekend. (That bum didn't drive 1 inch on the way down!) It was a quick weekend for a couple of reasons: 1) I didn't want to pay for an extra night's hotel. 2) I wanted a little time to rest before I had to go back to work.

I probably wouldn't have gone at all since I didn't have to go to pick up S, but I knew E was a little homesick & wanted to see his friends. Also, I felt like E & D needed to bond a bit. Of course I wanted to see the girls too. But I just didn't know what I wanted to say to S. As it turned out, I didn't say anything. I pulled that famous trick of completely ignoring the elephant in the middle of the room; no sarcastic comments or anything. (I know! I can't believe it either!)

In no particular order, here's some pics from the trip.

On Saturday, I was going to take the crew out to lunch, but since I didn't rent the van, we had to take two cars. Or, rather, my car & Big D's truck. Only, CR accidentally locked the keys in the truck. Big D won't "allow" any duplicate keys to be made, so she couldn't go with us because he had to break into his own truck. (If it were me, I'd make the key anyway.)

This worked out well for me because it was just me & the kids. Here they are, horsing around.

Click on the picture to see the big version.

C showed me her color guard routine

The little guy entertained himself at breakfast the next day while we waited on our food.

Balance... the key to life
Look what I can do!	Pacman

And finally... the pic you've been waiting for... (click the pic to see the large version)

S will not allow anyone to touch her stomach. She guards it constantly, and if you try she blocks you with a firm, "NO!" Also, she's not taking her pre-natals on a regular basis. When I got there on Saturday, she had been sleeping for 2 days. Yes, you read that right: TWO DAYS!!! On Sunday, we were all sitting on the porch and I said, "Have you taken your vitamins today?" She says, "I don't know." OMG! Are you kidding me? I tried the stern look, "Well, I *do* know because I've been with you all day... and you haven't. So go take them." I get all this whiny flak in return about them tasting bad, too big, hard to swallow ... whatever. I got in her face, "Look, you are having a baby. That means its time for you to be the grown-up and take care of you and your baby. Now get off your lazy butt and go in there and take them!"

C signed up for some mailing list where they email her the baby's development. So, she'll update S, "oh, and this week, your baby has fingernails."

I have such mixed feelings about her living there, but ultimately it is her choice. So I am trying to stay focused on E. I know we are making progress, albeit very slowly. He does manage to take up my every waking minute, so having her and the baby here would be a distraction at the very least.

In related news, E lasted almost 24 hours with his brother before he really lost patience. Granted, the little guy is a hellion. We were on the porch, because I can't go inside because there's, like, 12 cats... ok, not really, but close. The stray that kept following them in the house at the old place, and that they eventually started feeding, had a litter. They kept all the kittens! Now, the stray, henceforth known as "slut" is pregnant again.



But I digress... We were all on the porch, which, BTW, is covered in cat shit. Guess why? And there was a big puddle that probably had cat feces floating in it and D kept riding his bike, which still has the training wheels on it, through the puddle. So not just one tire sprayed the cat-poopy water, but three. He rode to the end of the porch, turned around and road through the puddle again. On the 2nd pass, I asked him to stop. On the third pass, the girls asked him to stop. Yes, if you're wondering, CR was standing there the whole time. On the forth pass, she grabbed his shoulders and said, "Stop or I'll take the bike away." He said, "No!" and merrily rode through the puddle again. She said, "D! Take the bike off the porch! I mean it!" Even I knew she didn't mean it. So did he. He made one pass around the driveway and guess where he was again.

In the mean time, E is trying to go through the boxes in the garage to find some of his stuff. They have opened every one of his boxes because they are convinced E took some of their stuff. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. He has done stuff like that in the past, so its feasible. He's frustrated... it's hot, his sense of order is upset, CR keeps trying to say stuff to him, the little guy is running around like a demon child... his mostly-calm facade was crumbling. We left shortly after I realized he wasn't going to last much longer.

The only comment CR made about E was that she noticed he was kind of "shaky" the day before and she attributed this to the new meds he's on. I keep forgetting to ask him about it, but I think he's been better on the new meds. And the shaking could have been because he was nervous about being around her... or maybe something besides his meds. (There's another appointment for that next week.) She didn't say it outloud, but her tone connoted that she didn't care for how I was managing his meds. Ptttthhhhh.

It took him a couple of hours on the road back before he really calmed down. But he did. So that's good. And he brought "his" trimmer back with him, so maybe the lawn will get mowed.

Saturday at the Salt Mine

I really didn't want to "plan" anything last weekend. I just feel like I've been running 100mph for so long, that I just wanted a leisurely weekend. But I also realized this would be E & mine's last weekend before S got here and things got even more crazy. So I called a friend of mine that has a go-kart.

My mother and I got E a go-kart for his 16th birthday. He loved it. It didn't last a year before he totalled it, but he'd really out-grown it by then too, so I suppose that's the way it was supposed to be.

Anyhow, I thought if my friend didn't mind him riding around on the go-kart for a while, that would be a great day for him... and almost worth scheduling something on a weekend I didn't want any official plans.

As it turns out, the grass was really tall in their fields, so riding the go-kart was out of the question. However, my friend suggested that we visit the salt mine in a nearby town. Sure, ok... that would be something different to do.

About an hour before we were supposed to be there, I got a call that my friend was not going to be able to make it. So it was just going to be E and I. Even though I'd already purchased the tickets I gave him the option not to go. (See 1st paragraph) But he said he wanted to go.

So, we're sitting in the waiting room and E starts to freak out a little. He gets claustrophobic and the thought of going down 600+ feet was getting to him. Even though we only had about 10 before the tour started, that was too much time for him to think.

So we asked the lady at the info desk some questions. I was pretty convinced that it would be ok after that, but E was still apprehensive. Fortunately the tour started a couple minutes later.

First, they show a safety film on how to use the "breather" they give you "in case of emergency." It's the same piece of equipment that they give the actual miners. It's in a little pouch that you wear around your shoulder. The film showed how to place your lips on the mouthpiece to get oxygen. However, then it said, "You may notice that your lips begin to burn. Do not remove your lips from the mouthpiece, even if the burning is so intense you want to remove your lips. This proves the chemical reaction is working...." Yikes! E whispered in my ear, "I really don't want to do this." I had my doubts at this point, too, but I felt like it was important for E to go through with this.

Next, we were issued our breather pouch-thing and a hard hat. For some reason the hard hat really perked him up. Must be a guy thing.

Then we get on this clunky-looking lift. E was behind me. It may have looked clunky, but it was really fast. It was like taking off on an airplane. My ears were popping most the way down. But also, since we were descending over 600 feet, it was totally pitch black most of the way. Like, you can't even see your hand in front of your face, pitch black. As soon as it went dark, I felt E's hand on my shoulder.

Most of the tour was on a tram. And while it was underground, the pathway was huge - tall and wide. So E didn't have any claustrophobic issues.

Since it's perfectly environmentally controlled, many of the movie studios store their originals there. So we got some pics of the actual costumes from some movies.

Mr. Freeze	The Matrix
Batman Returns	Talledaga Nights

Then there were these two crazy kids:

Sorry, the picture is dark, but, hey,
we were in a MINE ya know!

A funny note on the way back up... there was a group of girl scouts that happened to be there at the same time we were. The girls took the first lift. The left-over leaders / chaperons were on the same lift as E & I. They were crackin' jokes and having a good ole time. They were flirting with the guide (who was probably 20 years their junior). It was pretty entertaining. So we get to the super dark part of the ride and one of the leaders says, "I've got a light right here in my pocket." The guide, who was the only other male on the lift besides E, says, "Uh, m'am, that's my pocket." Maybe you had to be there...

Photo Phun Results

From earlier in the week, here's some of my creations using the links I posted.

E's graduation pic, cartoonized.
(BTW, he loves this picture!)

An old picture of C used for a 1952 yby photo. With some sort of skin condition.

C again, yb-ized to 1962. Looking eerily like my mother.



An old pic of the little guy used for the 1952 lady. Same skin condition. Doesn't "she" look surprised?
"Hey, does anyone know why I'm wearing pearls... and a dress?"


1976... on the short bus.
My co-worker said,
"Stop it! You're using the yb-izer for evil now."
At least he's not wearing pearls.

Week of Frustrations, Part I

I actually squeaked by on Monday and Tuesday of this week with little to no frustration. But trust me, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday more than made up for it.

On Wednesday, I woke up and had actually remembered my dream from the night before. Depending on how long you've known me, you may remember that I used to have these epic saga-type dreams. Very vivid. And then mini-me happened. (Short story: a tumor on my sinus. Long story: another post for another day) Now I rarely remember my dreams.

But this dream... This dream had my ex in it. And she was trying to get me to go see some house that was "perfect" for me. And of course it was the farthest thing from perfect that I could possibly imagine. Yes, I get it. Clearly I haven't worked through all my issues yet.

So the dream made me pissy. THEN, later my ex called! (How weird is that?!) This never makes me happy. When we broke up she made this big deal about wanting to be friends. But the only time she calls is when she wants something. This time was no different.

She wanted me to pick up something from a bakery that's near where our office used to be.

Liar	... and since you work over in that area, I thought you could help me out.
Me	Well, I don't work in that area anymore.
Liar	... crickets ...
Me	We moved.
Liar	Was that a recent thing?
Me	A few months ago.

After the favor is rebuked she always goes, "So, how are you?" Still bitter. And you? No, of course I don't say that. I'm just as sweet as can be. If she can lie to me for all those months, I can certainly return the favor during a phone call.

By the end of the call she was ready to hire E to come organize her garage. At least that call had a purpose to it. Usually after I hang up I have to scream obscenities for the next several minutes, or answer the questions the way I wanted to answer the questions. It's not that I "want" to, I have to. Which, in itself, is bad thing. But then there's my phone issue. See, my phone has a tendency to pocket-dial. It calls people all by itself. And if they don't answer it leaves a very long message of me doing or saying... whatever I happen to be doing or saying. Fun, huh?

And then I have to drive home. The blue boxes are houses that have been built since the satellite photo was taken.

Click the photo to see the big version

Yes, I know now: never mix love and real estate.

E is 19 now

My apologies for the lapse in entries. I'm working on a different project at work, which gives me less time for blogging. Dangit.

First and foremost: CR FINALLY SENT THE REFILLS!!! Since his insurance is still in limbo, that saved me from having to buy another month's worth.

On a related note: we went to see his med doctor today. Trying to get him off the current stuff and on to something that doesn't make him so drowsy.

In other news...

On Thursday of last week I got a series of text messages from CR:

I know the baby's sex!
I've been sworn to keep it a secret, at least for now
Ha ha! I know & you don't! Even if she tells you, you may not know cuz she hasn't decided if she's gonna tell the truth for fun

OMG, are we 12?? My response: Whatever.

Later, I get a message from S: Its a boy

Me	Is that what you wanted?
S	Yea

Alrighty then.

Talked to C last night. She's been sick for about a week. Sinus infection, I think. She missed 4 days of her required practices of flag-whatever-they-call it last week. Anyway, she confirmed that it's a boy. Generally speaking, boys are easier, so that will be good.

---

E celebrated his 19th birthday on Saturday. I took him out to his favorite BBQ place. I had told him the week before that if he wanted to invite a couple of friends from church, that would be ok.

Wednesday night... well, first we had to deal with his roadkill. He didn't just hit a bird, he hit a duck! And it broke the friggin' grill!


Sheesh.

Anyway, he was all jazzed up because he'd gotten some girl's number. I'd asked how old she was and he didn't know. So he called her while I was fixing dinner. And I heard him ask, "I have a serious question for you: how old are you?"

After the phone call he told me that she'd completely dodged the question and wouldn't give him a straight answer. I told him that probably meant she was too young for him. I figured that meant I was going to have to call and talk to the girls mother.

But then the girl called later that night... 1am to be exact. Yeah, I know. Believe me, I wasn't happy about it. The bad news is that he found out she is only 15. I told him that was too young for him. But the good news is that I don't have to worry about it: when she called, she was apparently drunk. That was a complete turnoff for him. In that moment, she lost him at hello.

So it was just he & I. My friend from work, JL, and her daughter joined us for desert. It was very low-key. I still cannot believe he's 19.

I was bummed because the present I ordered for him was delayed and didn't arrive until today. Also, when he was at his dad's, they did nothing to celebrate his birthday. He was there the week before his birthday and they didn't get him a card, stick a candle in a twinkie, nothing. Asshole.

He's still sleeping on the air mattress, due to no fault on my part. He just doesn't want to go shopping for the mattress. That's ok. The lawn needs to be mowed again.

Furniture shopping

All week I had been promising E that we would go shopping for bedroom furniture on Friday. Yes, I realize it was a holiday, but since when do retail chains pay attention to holidays... especially in a sluggish economy?

Apparently the rules are different in my po-dunk little neck of the woods. Many of the furniture, and other retail stores were either closed, or closed early. Seriously? Do you need to close at 3pm? The fireworks don't even start until 9. Sheesh.

As usual, E was driving. I was navigating. (Which, if you know me and my sense of direction, or lack thereof, you know what a scary proposition that is.) So I was taking the opportunity to try and teach him about highway signs and how they're labeled, etc. Its possible I was trying to teach him other things as well... once I get in teaching mode, its sometimes hard to turn me off. (I know, you're probably shocked by this.)


So we're looking through the furniture places and this is what he takes a picture of:

Not furniture, but the ceramic accessories.

So we're driving along and suddenly we hear a THUD! E pulls over immediately, while I am trying very hard to go into denial. Once in an empty parking lot, the scrape along the door is obvious. Equally obvious is the water dripping from it. We had passed a truck just before whatever-it-was hit us. Either there were kids laying down in the bed of the truck and one threw a water balloon (possible, but not likely), or something flew out of the bed of the truck. E thinks it was ice. It was a shitty truck. I suppose there could have been an open cooler in the back. Either way: crapcrapcrap!

Later, my navigation skills helped us miss our target, so I instructed E to find a place to turn around. We were on a four-lane road. Suddenly I hear screeching tires and honking horns and I realize that E did not look before he tried to change lanes from the right lane to the left. The horns scare him and he instinctively tries to go back to the right lane, again not looking. More horn honking. There was a lot of things I wanted to scream, but I didn't. I calmly just told him to stop so the offended drivers could pass. Still calm, I told him to check and make sure the way was clear and pull off to a side street on the right.

I thought we had checked the "look before you change lanes" box, but obviously I was mistaken. Once we were on the side street, I was like, "You have GOT to look before you change lanes." And he just started yelling... that I had been cramming his head full of useless crap (the highway signs -- 3 or so hours earlier), blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, I took over the driving.

I happened to see another furniture store and pulled in the parking lot. Oddly, they were still open so I asked E if he wanted to go in. "I don't give a shit." Alrighty then. I went in. He's a big boy, he could either sit in the hot car by himself, or he could come inside where it was cool. He was right behind me by the time I walked through the door. While we did see some furniture he sorta liked (at prices that made me think they bought the stuff from the technical institute), he found a massaging chair. I just walked around the store and let him get acquainted with the magical chair. Holy crap, you guys, he was in SUCH a better mood after about 5 minutes! I wonder if they'll kick us out if we keep going back about once a week?

Post massage, we found this sculpture of a guy taking a crap on someone's desk.

Yes, of course I get it. But he was in such a better mood and we thought the sculpture said, "Whoops! I just took a crap on your lawn!" Ok, so we're 5.

Next stop, Sears. Been thinking about buying a new fridge. He was in LOVE with this fridge because it had a space for drinks.
Seriously, how good a mood do you have to be in to take pics of a fridge??!

And THEN he saw this.


Major appliances. Are you feelin' me now?

And then his dad called to ask him a computer question and he was in HEAAAAVEEEEN!

Long story short on the furniture, we never did find anything. So the saga continues.

I'm on a mission from God.

MD & other pics

E has had a pet turtle for ... gosh, maybe 3 years now. It's a tiny turtle that he keeps in a baking dish. He always brought it with him when they'd come for a visit (it's "carrier" is an old tub of butter).

He was over at my friend, J's, over the weekend to help clean out her garage (He's officially for hire if your garage needs some organization!) and somehow the turtle came up in the conversation. So I thought it would be fun to post some pictures of the turtle that E calls, "MD" (which stands for Master of Destruction).

Click on the picture to see a BIG version.

This is MD after we woke him up. He'd been "sleeping" in the water at the bottom of the dish and I insisted he was dead. He wasn't.

This is MD eating. It's hilarious. He sorta sneaks up on the little turd-looking thing, and stretches his neck waaaay out, and SNAP! Like the food is going to get away from him somehow.

While I'm talking about pictures, never leave the camera at home. You never know what you're going to find on the memory card.

E was supposed to be taking pictures of some stuff I want to sell on ebay. But when I got the card back, I found:

A picture of his truck in my garage... with the door shut to PROVE that it actually fits. (I told him it didn't matter; it was still MY garage.) Plus many, many more pics of the truck (which I won't bore you with)... just because he had a camera in his hand, I guess.

Whoops I said I wouldn't bore you... sorry. Oh, this reminds me: we went to sign the papers on his car insurance the other day and on the way in he saw a Chevy truck that had a Ford logo in the middle of the Chevy logo. (Apparently it was a joke played on the Chevy owner.) He exclaimed, "What is THIS??!? A TRANSEXUAL truck?!"

His PC... and big foot.

Driving to KC

I have been making E drive everywhere we go just to give him more experience behind the wheel. So E and I are on our way to KC for a funeral. He stays in the lanes much better than the first time I took him driving, so it wasn't quite the white-knuckle experience it once was. He actually did a pretty good job, but he has a tendency to drive way below the speed limit. Which not only pisses the other drivers off, but it makes the trip significantly longer than it should be. We got kind of a late start, so I made him use the cruise control. To keep me from watching the road, I finally made some progress on that letter for DS.

So we're about 1/2 an hour from the hotel and the sky opens up a can of whoop-ass on us. Funny how you don't realize how bad your windshield wipers are until you actually have to depend on them to see. So I couldn't really see and E was hunched over the steering wheel like an old lady. I offerred to take over. He declined, but he kept driving slower and slower. Finally I forced him to pull off to the side so we could switch. Of course the rain quit almost immediately after I took over.

So we get checked into the hotel, and we're driving through the parking lot looking for a place to park when we discover this car.



Apparently semi-trucks & small hotel parking lots don't mix.

Up in the room, I decide to iron our clothes tonight so we're not rushed tomorrow. I brought 2 pairs of slacks because I couldn't decide, and I'd planned to lay them out and do eeny-meeny-miny-moe, except I forgot the shirts! E could not stop laughing at that one. I'd asked him at least twice on the trip if he remembered the new clothes that we'd bought so he wouldn't be wearing holy jeans, and here I forgot my shirts. Hi-larious.

As I write this, E has gone to sleep in the next bed. Last night was a big thunderstorm... hail, lightening and the works. Ever since he was a little boy he's never been able to sleep during storms, and last night was no different. And after the drive tonight, he was one tuckered out boy. Say it with me now, "Awwwwwwww."

You can call me, "Tree"

When C was younger, she went through a phase where she would shout, “Potato!” in much the same manner as one might use the word, “dude!” It was her go-to word, used to express a variety of emotions. If she was baffled, “Potato!”; surprised, “Potato!”; amused, “Potato!” Being an aquarius, she mixed it up a bit. Sometimes she said it qietly, sometimes she said it emhatically, sometimes she stomped her feet as she said it, and sometimes she wrang her hands maniacally and used her most “evil” voice. I don't know why that popped into my head this evening, I was just driving home and suddenly, “Potato!”

I talked to CR today. She was furious with E. Shortly before the move started, she had bought a can of green paint to be used to paint the little guy's room at the new place. Before he left, E, helped himself to the paint and painted his door and door frame, at the old place of course. (He must have decided that the door was too much green because he helped himself to more paint, also purchased for the new place, to re-paint the door.) And then I was shocked, shocked I tell ya, to hear that he didn't put the paint back where he found it. Today the little guy got into it. He painted his body, hair, clothes, and the [borrowed] trailer all green.

Side note, speaking of the move: they were supposed to be out of the old place on June 3. But they still have stuff at the old place! You do the math. Of course all the utilities are turned off over there, so it's hotter than shit (well, it's TX, so of course it's hotter than shit).

As they were de-greening him, he informed her that there were 2 little d's: a good one and a bad one, and the good one's name was, “tree.”

Also talked to E today. He, apparently, has had enough of his paternal side of the family and is coming home this coming weekend. Potato!

Not sure of C's plans yet. She still wants to go home early. [Big] D has a cousin that works for some airline. He and CR think they'll be able to finagle a free ticket for C to fly back to TX.

Do you know who D is? Do you remember that seen in “Look Who's Talking” where John Travolta was old and fat, and serving the kids a can of beans that he dug out of the trash can? Kirstie Alley was flashing forward to what life with him might be like. That's D, to a “T”.

You may have heard me speak of the copier that used to live on the front porch. He was at a job site one day and the building he was working on was throwing it out. So he brought it home. Because that's what we'd all do, right? It stayed in their living room for a looong time until it was finally banished to the front porch. (Ultimately, it was moved to the back patio. Sad because it brought such sophistication and class as you approached the front door.)

But here's the thing: of the 5 cars in the backyard that didn't run, only 1, O-N-E, was hauled off to the junkyard. They moved 4 broken, as in NOT working, cars to the new place!

It's true. Check the pic below.

No wonder they haven't finished moving!

Potato.