Whoops! I think I accidentally became a mom?!!

Last week my mother called me and opened the conversation thusly, "What is your sister up to?"

Wha...? Huh? "What on EARTH are you talking about?"

Turns out C had overheard... or, rather oversaw her mother while I was trying to give her an update on her SON, E. Which, my perception of the conversation was that she couldn't have cared less. So C told my mother that the conversation appeared very "serious." My mother naturally assumed...

Instead of answering my question, she asked, "Are you two fighting?"

Oh good grief! Either we're "up" to something, or we're fighting??! So I re-capped the conversation, along with my perception.

"Well, you have to understand her side... " Um, no I really don't. I was told to give her updates, then when I do, she gets her panties all in a bunch. WHATever.

Next on her agenda: *I* have to talk to S. She's not bonding with the baby. She's not taking her pre-natals. And she scared her sister to death when she said she was going to give up the baby.

And this is my problem, how???

I did call S later. Not because it was my problem, but because I wanted to find out the latest scoop with the boyfriend/baby daddy, DS. They've been on and off again all summer. Yep, turns out they're back on again. Plus, they're planning on moving in with some friend of DS's.

Me	What are you going to do about a job?
S	Nothing.
Me	Well how do you expect to pay rent?
S	I don't have to.
Me	Really? And how are you going to manage that?
S	Well, me and DS are sharing a bedroom and the rent is divided between the 4 bedrooms. So DS will pay the rent.

Had I been wearing a blood-pressure cuff, I'm sure it would have burst. But wait, it gets better.

Me	Are you taking your prenatals?
S	No.
Me	Why?
S	They taste ewey. But mom said I don't have to. She said I can take the chewables so at least I'm getting some vitamins.
Me	(1 or 2 decibels lower than "yelling") OMG! You want to be treated like an adult and move in with your boyfriend??!? Then ACT like it! Chewable vitamins are NOT the same as prenatals!

I think I may have burst a blood vessel during that part because what came rolling out my mouth next was clear indication of some sort of brain impairment.

Me	I heard a rumor.
S	Oh no. What kind of rumor?
Me	A rumor about you.
S	Oh great. What was it?
Me	That you are giving up the baby.
S	Where did you hear that?
Me	It doesn't matter. Is it true?
S	Yeah. I figured I don't like being around my 5 year old brother, why would I want a baby around?
Me	(brain overload... switching off now... please keep your pie-hole closed until brain regains function...) You've had a little brother now for, uh, 5 years. So when did you decide this?
S	Almost from the beginning.
Me	(WARNING! Brain is off! Do not say anything!) Would you consider letting me adopt it? (I told you NOT to say anything...)
S	Yeah. Me & DS have discussed it and already thought of that.
Me	So **IF** we do this, you realize there's no take-sies back-sies, right?
S	Yeah.
Me	And do not think that if this happens again that you can just call me up...
S	(laughing) I know.
Me	Ok, so until you are 100% sure, please don't say anything to anyone else in the family.
S	Ok.

That's all I need is for this decision to be made by committee. S tells C; C tells CR &/or my mother and pretty soon its all a big brawl...

So, my big mouth strikes again.

Of course the reality is that it might never happen. S has been so flaky since she got pregnant that who knows how she'll feel once she gives birth. Also, I think it will depend on her status with DS. If they're together, I'm about 90% sure she'll give it up because he doesn't want it. If not, it'll depend on how much whispering in her ear CR has done and probably a dozen other factors that I'm unaware of.

So there you have it. The baby's not due til late December... plenty of time for more drama.