The Party's Over

Monday night I was at Walmart when S called me.

There was lots of people around, plus I was on my headset so I couldn't hear every single word that she was saying. But instead of saying, "Huh?" every few seconds I was just doing that thing where you say "uh-huh" every once in a while to acknowledge the other party is talking, only half-listening to what they're saying.

I was in the milk section when I heard, "blah, blah, blah, keeping it."

Me	Uh-h... wait. What did you say?
S	[garbled] [static] [talking too softly]
Me	Keeping what?
S	That thing I have in my stomach!
Me	You're keeping the baby?!
S	Yeah.
Me	When did you decide this?
S	DS and I talked about it today.
Me	I thought DS didn't want to keep it either.
S	Well, he just didn't want his dad to be around it. Now that we're moving in with his mom it'll be ok.
Me	Oh, S. Please don't do this. You know you don't want to keep it.
S	(crickets...)

I fucking KNEW this was going to happen!

Apparently DS has some relative who's "rich" and every question I asked was answered with this rich aunt he has.

Yeah, she's ready to have a baby like I'm ready to be in a swimsuit competition. She can't even SAY baby!

That THING I have in my stomach

Seriously!!!

So I'm wandering dazed through the isles and my phone calls C. (It has a mind of its own sometimes.) I had my headset on and all of a sudden I heard the dingle in my ear. I answered it, surprised.

C	You sound funny.
Me	I'm just surprised. My phone called you, I didn't.
C	Well it would have been nice if you had called me.
Me	Sorry. I'm still in shock.
C	Why?
Me	S is keeping the baby.

C was not happy about the news. I related the conversation I'd had with S to her. She asked a lot of rhetorical questions. Then she ended with, "Well, I'm going to go yell at her... unless you forbid me."

She's so funny.

Both C and CR yelled at her. Not that it did any good.

The bad thing is that I found this news out at Walmart. Before I knew it my cart was filled with Oreos, Little Debbies and icecream.

Later, I remembered the few minutes of guilty pleasure I'd allowed myself when I was looking at cribs online. I guess my suit of detachment-armor wasn't so strong afterall.

Dammitdammitdammit.

S: New Plan in the Works

I called S on Friday (the 31st). No answer. I called her on Saturday. No answer.

Hmmmm. Me thinkest she might be dodging my calls.

She went out to dinner with a friend Friday night, and didn't come home. I think she was gone either all or most of the day on Saturday, too. Apparently she showed up on Sunday.

CR called me first yesterday. She told me that S intends to move to Abilene... or maybe it was Amarillo... some city that started with an "A" in TX. DS's mother lives there, so they're going to go live with her. CR told me that DS's mother intended to put S on her insurance at work. I was like, "Nowadays, I can't even imagine someone having such good health insurance that they can add their son's pregnant girlfriend, but I guess it's nice if you can get it."

CR also told me that DS's mother (I have no idea what her name is, therefore I'm shortening it to DSM) didn't know about the pregnancy until yesterday and she was all, "Oh! My first grandchild!" Great. Because this situation isn't messy enough...

S also told CR that she'd tried to call me, but I didn't answer. In this age, where we have nifty technology like caller-id, why do people still lie about that? Yep, you guessed it. Her number was not in the caller-id list.

So I called her. Talking to her is so bizarre because she sounds like she knows what's going on, but then, OTOH, she also sounds delusional.

S told me that DSM has Medicaid. So that explains the health insurance.

When I asked her about transportation, she said that DSM has an old truck, which she has to get tags for. DSM will keep the truck, and she'll give her old car to DS and let him trade it in on whatever he wants. (Like it's going to be an even trade-in or something...)

Of course, all of this is contingent on the fact that DS gets his probation moved to the A-city that I can't remember the name of. (That might actually happen as TX only got up in arms when he tried to leave the state.)

Also, DSM had at least 2 kids that were adopted by other family members.

I told S:

• Lots of things need to happen in a short period of time, but I'm not paying for a home study until she gets settled on the plan.
• Don't let DSM guilt you into something that you don't want. You've been quite clear in the fact that you don't want this kid. Don't let her talk you into keeping it.
• Don't assume that DSM's experience with family members adopting her babies will be the same as yours. It may be, but it could also be quite different.
• I want daily updates. The business day ends at 5:00. I want a message of some sort by 5:01. Every day.
  

I have to wonder if DSM will let her lay on the couch 23 hours a day.

She is still very concerned about DS's drinking and drug habits. She thinks she can save him. I know. Delusional, right?

CR doesn't believe any of this will happen. S has said she's moving out so many times, and it has fallen through every time. So she's like, "[eh] I'll believe it when it happens."

I don't know enough about DSM to even guess when, or if all of this will happen. I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Feelin' GREAT Today!

The drama started early at my house today.

CR had called mom and she was briefed on the events of yesterday. This is how the conversation began:

Mom thought you and I should talk before I go kill my daughter.

HA! Take all the mystery out of it, why dontchya?

Here's the Reader's Digest version: DR is ready to kick her out, and CR is not far behind. I told her not to kill S. Prison isn't worth it.

So, CR did talk to her. She said it was like pulling teeth trying to get her to talk. S swore there was no money involved with the CA agency. (Yeah, right. I'll bet you've got a bridge to sell me too.) Anyway, her [main] bone of contention is that she doesn't want to come to KS.

CR also invoked the MIGHTY POWER of GUILT (when you say that in your head, make sure the echo reverberates) with time-tested phrases like:

• Do you have any idea what your life would have been like without R in it?
• Who do you think paid for that class ring on your finger?
• Several variations on the "who do you think paid for that" theme
  

CR has spent all day calling attorneys... or, rather, trying to get them to call her back. One thing she found out was that in TX if the birth mother is under-age (which, S is only 17) then CR can sign the paper for her. But here's the thing: S turns 18 ten days before the baby is due. So that plan is good only if the baby comes 11 (or more) days sooner than it's due.

I did my little part and called my pre-paid legal place to see if they could refer me to a TX attorney. (They can.)

In all the phone calls of the past 24 hours, I've gotten more props for doing my part with the kids than I have in the past 19 years. So, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about myself today.

Regarding the baby, here's my stance: It's S's decision. CR can try to point her this way or that way, but S is the one who has to look herself in the mirror every day. I do not know what part DS is playing in the decision-making (and I'll bet he is playing a part), but that's still S's decision as to how involved she makes him.

Of course I want the baby. And if I get it, I will love it and do my best to take care of it. But I'm not going to compete with anyone to get it. If I don't get it, I hope the people that do will love it and take care of it as I would. I'm feeling very detached from the process, and I think that's a good thing right now.

Regardless of the outcome, S has really shown her true colors in the process. My mother said that she has no respect for S left. I know I certainly don't feel the same about her as I did a week ago. Even CR said on the phone this morning, "Over the years E has done a lot of things that I didn't care for. But I never thought of him as a disappointment. But that's how I think of S now."

---

And now, today's horoscopes.

Me:
Disagreements of one sort or another are likely over the next 24 hours and the atmosphere may not be entirely to your liking, but with Mars on your side there is nothing you need to be afraid of. Give as good as you get - then give a bit more.

CR:
You may be of the opinion that might makes right, and in certain areas you may be correct in that assumption, but what happens today will show you that it is much better to win others round by persuasion than by forcing them to change.

S:
Others will try to force you to do things you don't want to do today, and you must resist. On the work front especially you need to be more assertive, even at the risk of upsetting important people. What's important about them? Their stupidity for starters. (Dear Horoscope People: She just lays on her butt all day! If that's what passes for "work" these days, where do I apply?)

It's like the recipe for the perfect storm, isn't it? I think detachment will serve me well in this battle. Now hand me my lance and I will trot gallantly into the sunset...

Or...! Maybe I should give Jerry Springer a call...?

Roller Coaster

What a roller coaster of a day!

We have a benefit at my work that allows us to subscribe to pre-paid legal services. I originally signed up because I wanted to have a will drawn up. Anyway, since I'm a member, I can call and talk to an attorney and they will not be trying to get me off the line because I haven't paid a retainer fee.

So I got to ask all the questions I wanted about the adoption. Long story short, it would make my life infinitely easier if S were to have the baby in KS. Also, if the service refers me to an attorney, then I get 25% off the bill. And since we're talking thousands of dollars here, that could be a pretty big chunk of change!

Plus, I double-verified that my health insurance would cover her and the baby starting right now. She just has to be in KS. I was super excited about this as she hasn't seen a doctor in over 2 months! (I know, I know! Don't get me started!)

Woo-Hoo! tick-tick-tick... going up... tick-tick-tick...

Then I called S. I'd given her way more days to think about things than I said I was going to. We chit-chatted about nothing in particular for a few minutes. I won't give you a play-by-play, but let me just highlight some portions of the conversation for you.

It's all your fault!

Referring to her inability to make a decision about moving to KS to have the baby. Make sure you insert the whine when you say that in your head. I told her there's several people responsible for her pregnancy, but I wasn't one of them!

You're just heaping a big bucket of stress on me!

More whine with this one. This was after I'd forced her into a corner and told her she needed to suck it up and be a grown-up.

Throw your hands up... big hill! AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Here's the deal: At some point S contacted an adoption agency in California. (No, I don't have any details on how she got the number, when she picked them, how she picked them, etc. I was kinda blind-sided by this info.) They have made it as easy on her as it can be: pick the parents from the packet they'd sent her, sign this piece of paper, we'll take care of the baby after its born, viola! You're done!

Loop-de-loop! Here it comes! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

As she's talking about the packet it suddenly dawned on me, "OMG. Does she expect me to justify myself as a parent?" I was so stunned by the thought that I blurted out, "You don't know these pepole, except what you've read about them in the packet. You've known me for almost 18 years. I've been there in the good and the bad. You know I'll do everything I can to take care of this baby."

"They're going to fly out here to meet me."
"Great," I told her. "That'll be like a first date. Everyone will be on their best behavior."

That's about the time I sorta lost it and told her that it was her decision and she needed to suck it up.

I called my mom to tell her about the conversation. (CR was still in bed at this point, since she works nights.) As we were talking it occurred to both of us at about the same time that the CA agency was probably offering her boat loads of cash as well.

Please remain seated while the ride comes to a complete stop. Gather your belongings and exit to the right...

Frankly, I hit the wall in that moment of ephinany. I am not paying her to adopt her baby! She is delusional if she thinks that's going to happen. I'm so pissed at her being such a whiny, selfish baby about the whole thing I can't see straight.

---

In other news... I decided that I'm not going to buy E any more medication. If he's fine with moving to TX (and it's all he talks about), and he knows he's not going to have meds down there, then I shouldn't have to bust my hump trying to get them for him here.

I told him about my decision and he was completely fine with it. So that should be fun!

The Cat Is Out of the Bag

When CR and I talked on Saturday, we eventually got around to discussing Big D's sister, who recently announced she's pregnant.

Blah, blah, blah, pregnant... blah, blah, blah, babies...

So I figured, this is a good a time as any...

Me	So ... I need to talk to you about S.
CR	Ok.
Me	Well, she's decided to give the baby up for adoption.
CR	I kinda figured. She hasn't mentioned it in a while, so I thought she'd changed her mind. How did you find out?
Me	I'd heard she was thinking about it so I just asked her.
CR	(silence)
Me	And I was thinking I would adopt the baby.
CR	We'd thought about asking you early on, but then it seemed like she changed her mind and we didn't want to get your hopes up.

By "we" she meant herself and DR. I guess its nice that everyone was thinking of me, but do these people not realize that something like this takes time?? Oh, and she had already talked to mom about it! (But mother failed to mention that to me because she was, "trying to stay neutral")

She took it much better than I'd anticipated. Kind of sad, and yet resigned. JL thinks that she is [finally!] coming to the conclusion that she just can't bring another kid into her < insert adjective here > life. In retrospect, my timing was excellent with E being back there and eating them out of house and home for a week.

I called mom to tell her that CR knew and she didn't have to worry about keeping the secret anymore. And she was like, "Did you tell her that **I** didn't tell you?" I told her I'd try to work that in the next conversation I had with CR.

"Well, why wouldn't you be able to work that in?" You're killing me, mother, stick the knife in, jab it, twist it, make-a-figure-eight-with-it killing me.

I responded, "Well, let's say she calls to talk about E. She says, 'So, how's E?' Am I supposed to respond with, 'BTW, Mom didn't tell me anything.' Seems a little out of place don't you think?"

Later CR texted me:

Mom should be happy that this would only make her a grandma again instead of a great grandma.

And then again:

I know I said I wanted to be an aunt from my side of the family but this wasn't exactly how I thought it would happen.

I still haven't heard from S. I know, it was too much to think she might take some responsibility on her own. Oddly, CR and I were on the same page again here: we both thought she needs to move to KS to have the baby and facilitate the adoption.

Someone check the temperature in hell... It must be getting chilly with CR and I agreeing twice in one weekend.

Whoops! I think I accidentally became a mom?!!

Last week my mother called me and opened the conversation thusly, "What is your sister up to?"

Wha...? Huh? "What on EARTH are you talking about?"

Turns out C had overheard... or, rather oversaw her mother while I was trying to give her an update on her SON, E. Which, my perception of the conversation was that she couldn't have cared less. So C told my mother that the conversation appeared very "serious." My mother naturally assumed...

Instead of answering my question, she asked, "Are you two fighting?"

Oh good grief! Either we're "up" to something, or we're fighting??! So I re-capped the conversation, along with my perception.

"Well, you have to understand her side... " Um, no I really don't. I was told to give her updates, then when I do, she gets her panties all in a bunch. WHATever.

Next on her agenda: *I* have to talk to S. She's not bonding with the baby. She's not taking her pre-natals. And she scared her sister to death when she said she was going to give up the baby.

And this is my problem, how???

I did call S later. Not because it was my problem, but because I wanted to find out the latest scoop with the boyfriend/baby daddy, DS. They've been on and off again all summer. Yep, turns out they're back on again. Plus, they're planning on moving in with some friend of DS's.

Me	What are you going to do about a job?
S	Nothing.
Me	Well how do you expect to pay rent?
S	I don't have to.
Me	Really? And how are you going to manage that?
S	Well, me and DS are sharing a bedroom and the rent is divided between the 4 bedrooms. So DS will pay the rent.

Had I been wearing a blood-pressure cuff, I'm sure it would have burst. But wait, it gets better.

Me	Are you taking your prenatals?
S	No.
Me	Why?
S	They taste ewey. But mom said I don't have to. She said I can take the chewables so at least I'm getting some vitamins.
Me	(1 or 2 decibels lower than "yelling") OMG! You want to be treated like an adult and move in with your boyfriend??!? Then ACT like it! Chewable vitamins are NOT the same as prenatals!

I think I may have burst a blood vessel during that part because what came rolling out my mouth next was clear indication of some sort of brain impairment.

Me	I heard a rumor.
S	Oh no. What kind of rumor?
Me	A rumor about you.
S	Oh great. What was it?
Me	That you are giving up the baby.
S	Where did you hear that?
Me	It doesn't matter. Is it true?
S	Yeah. I figured I don't like being around my 5 year old brother, why would I want a baby around?
Me	(brain overload... switching off now... please keep your pie-hole closed until brain regains function...) You've had a little brother now for, uh, 5 years. So when did you decide this?
S	Almost from the beginning.
Me	(WARNING! Brain is off! Do not say anything!) Would you consider letting me adopt it? (I told you NOT to say anything...)
S	Yeah. Me & DS have discussed it and already thought of that.
Me	So **IF** we do this, you realize there's no take-sies back-sies, right?
S	Yeah.
Me	And do not think that if this happens again that you can just call me up...
S	(laughing) I know.
Me	Ok, so until you are 100% sure, please don't say anything to anyone else in the family.
S	Ok.

That's all I need is for this decision to be made by committee. S tells C; C tells CR &/or my mother and pretty soon its all a big brawl...

So, my big mouth strikes again.

Of course the reality is that it might never happen. S has been so flaky since she got pregnant that who knows how she'll feel once she gives birth. Also, I think it will depend on her status with DS. If they're together, I'm about 90% sure she'll give it up because he doesn't want it. If not, it'll depend on how much whispering in her ear CR has done and probably a dozen other factors that I'm unaware of.

So there you have it. The baby's not due til late December... plenty of time for more drama.

Labor Day Weekend

E and I drove to TX for Labor Day weekend. (That bum didn't drive 1 inch on the way down!) It was a quick weekend for a couple of reasons: 1) I didn't want to pay for an extra night's hotel. 2) I wanted a little time to rest before I had to go back to work.

I probably wouldn't have gone at all since I didn't have to go to pick up S, but I knew E was a little homesick & wanted to see his friends. Also, I felt like E & D needed to bond a bit. Of course I wanted to see the girls too. But I just didn't know what I wanted to say to S. As it turned out, I didn't say anything. I pulled that famous trick of completely ignoring the elephant in the middle of the room; no sarcastic comments or anything. (I know! I can't believe it either!)

In no particular order, here's some pics from the trip.

On Saturday, I was going to take the crew out to lunch, but since I didn't rent the van, we had to take two cars. Or, rather, my car & Big D's truck. Only, CR accidentally locked the keys in the truck. Big D won't "allow" any duplicate keys to be made, so she couldn't go with us because he had to break into his own truck. (If it were me, I'd make the key anyway.)

This worked out well for me because it was just me & the kids. Here they are, horsing around.

Click on the picture to see the big version.

C showed me her color guard routine

The little guy entertained himself at breakfast the next day while we waited on our food.

Balance... the key to life
Look what I can do!	Pacman

And finally... the pic you've been waiting for... (click the pic to see the large version)

S will not allow anyone to touch her stomach. She guards it constantly, and if you try she blocks you with a firm, "NO!" Also, she's not taking her pre-natals on a regular basis. When I got there on Saturday, she had been sleeping for 2 days. Yes, you read that right: TWO DAYS!!! On Sunday, we were all sitting on the porch and I said, "Have you taken your vitamins today?" She says, "I don't know." OMG! Are you kidding me? I tried the stern look, "Well, I *do* know because I've been with you all day... and you haven't. So go take them." I get all this whiny flak in return about them tasting bad, too big, hard to swallow ... whatever. I got in her face, "Look, you are having a baby. That means its time for you to be the grown-up and take care of you and your baby. Now get off your lazy butt and go in there and take them!"

C signed up for some mailing list where they email her the baby's development. So, she'll update S, "oh, and this week, your baby has fingernails."

I have such mixed feelings about her living there, but ultimately it is her choice. So I am trying to stay focused on E. I know we are making progress, albeit very slowly. He does manage to take up my every waking minute, so having her and the baby here would be a distraction at the very least.

In related news, E lasted almost 24 hours with his brother before he really lost patience. Granted, the little guy is a hellion. We were on the porch, because I can't go inside because there's, like, 12 cats... ok, not really, but close. The stray that kept following them in the house at the old place, and that they eventually started feeding, had a litter. They kept all the kittens! Now, the stray, henceforth known as "slut" is pregnant again.



But I digress... We were all on the porch, which, BTW, is covered in cat shit. Guess why? And there was a big puddle that probably had cat feces floating in it and D kept riding his bike, which still has the training wheels on it, through the puddle. So not just one tire sprayed the cat-poopy water, but three. He rode to the end of the porch, turned around and road through the puddle again. On the 2nd pass, I asked him to stop. On the third pass, the girls asked him to stop. Yes, if you're wondering, CR was standing there the whole time. On the forth pass, she grabbed his shoulders and said, "Stop or I'll take the bike away." He said, "No!" and merrily rode through the puddle again. She said, "D! Take the bike off the porch! I mean it!" Even I knew she didn't mean it. So did he. He made one pass around the driveway and guess where he was again.

In the mean time, E is trying to go through the boxes in the garage to find some of his stuff. They have opened every one of his boxes because they are convinced E took some of their stuff. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. He has done stuff like that in the past, so its feasible. He's frustrated... it's hot, his sense of order is upset, CR keeps trying to say stuff to him, the little guy is running around like a demon child... his mostly-calm facade was crumbling. We left shortly after I realized he wasn't going to last much longer.

The only comment CR made about E was that she noticed he was kind of "shaky" the day before and she attributed this to the new meds he's on. I keep forgetting to ask him about it, but I think he's been better on the new meds. And the shaking could have been because he was nervous about being around her... or maybe something besides his meds. (There's another appointment for that next week.) She didn't say it outloud, but her tone connoted that she didn't care for how I was managing his meds. Ptttthhhhh.

It took him a couple of hours on the road back before he really calmed down. But he did. So that's good. And he brought "his" trimmer back with him, so maybe the lawn will get mowed.

And the Drama Rolls On

C called last night to chit chat... school had started, update on color guard... basic stuff.

When the conversation rolled around to S, she said, "She's not doing very good."

Me	Really? How so?
C	Well, the other day, all she did was cry in her room all day.
Me	Oooo. You're right. Not good.
C	Then, last night, she came out of her bedroom saying mom needed to take her to the hospital because she was going to hurt herself if she didn't.
Me	Yikes.
C	I know. DS has blocked all of our numbers, but I have some things I'd like to say to him.
Me	Like what?
C	Well, for one thing, he keeps calling her. One minute he'll say he's in love with her. Then, he'll call later and say that he didn't mean it.
Me	Asshole.
C	Exactly.

I called CR to ask her about the incident.

Me	So, I hear S was suicidal.
CR	Not exactly.
Me	Really? Well, C told me she was threatening to hurt herself if you didn't take her to the hospital.
CR	Yeah.
Me	Well, that is the definition of being suicidal.
CR	Right, but there's more to it than that. Because I told her that the hospital wasn't going to take her memories away. At best they were just going to take her phone away, and if that's all she wanted I could do that. She didn't feel the need to go to the hospital after that.*

*Note: the preceding conversation may have been slightly embellished to give it a good punchline, but the gist was still the same.

Guess Who Changed Her Mind Again?

E was still in bed when I woke up on Sunday, so I decided to watch the movie that we rented that I knew he didn't care anything about. I was listening to the commentary on the extras when I fell asleep. Next thing I know E is waking me up. After grumbling and grousing about, I decided that I should go reserve the hotel and van to go pick up S. Their little town in TX has morphed into a "resort" town. And I've discovered that you can't wait til the day before (like I used to when they fist moved down there) to make a reservation. Plus, it seems like the price goes up $20 every time I go down there. Pretty soon I won't be able to afford to go down there at all.

Sunday nights I reserve to watch "my shows." C almost always calls me during this time and I tend to get agitated with her. There were no calls on this night, but as I was getting ready for bed I happened to glance at my phone and see the following text messages from CR:

S didn't want to disturb your shows but b4 too much planning happened S decided today not to move b4 the baby comes

OMG, I was furious! I texted CR back:

Great. I've already reserved a room & van. Now that u live in a "resort" town I can't wait til the last minute. I am sick & fucking tired of this shit.

Yes, S's indecision is driving me bonkers. I'm also sure that CR has been laying the guilt on *thick* (first grandchild, etc.) But it's hard to express those nuances in 160 characters. CR responded:

Can't help it she just decided today. She promises she won't change her mind tomorrow is all I can say. Can't you just cancel the other stuff?

ARGH! They SO don't get it! In my fury I also texted S:

Its time for you to act like a grown up & not have ur mommy deliver ur messages. If you've got something to say to me, YOU say it.

I was still angry when I woke up on Monday. I know I've been apprehensive about what would happen to E once S arrived, but when I examine my feelings now, I guess I figured it would all work out.

E & I decided Monday night to go ahead and go to TX. No, I really don't have the money, but I think E needs to see his brother (& vice versa). I suppose I need to talk to S too. But I'm half way between still-very-angry and ready-to-bawl-my-eyes-out, so I haven't a clue what I would say.

I know what you're thinking: Seriously? You didn't see this coming? She's changed her mind... how many times???

You're right, of course. I did see this coming. But it wasn't til I talked to my mother this morning that I figured out why I was so upset.

She was telling me how much better S was doing: actually helping out a little (not a lot, just a little), grieving over the lost relationship with DS (no, they are not back together), and she and CR were finally getting along better.

Me	That's all well and good, but she's got to live in KS 6 months before she can get "in state" tuition. Anything before that is "out of state" and 4x as much.
Mom	Ok. What do you want me to do? I think that's where she needs to be now.
Me	Maybe its true, maybe not. [Ed: definitely not] I'm talking about her future here.
Mom	Can't you just butt out?
Me	[nearly running off the road; yes, I was driving and talking, but I had a headset on!] No, I will not butt out! I am the only one who's thinking about how she's going to care for this baby! You and CR are being very short-sided in how you're approaching this situation. Since you won't think about the future, apparently I have to!
Mom	Aren't you sweet?
Me	[seething]

I swear to God I almost hung up on her for calling me sweet. You want to know what's really going on here? You've read this far, so I guess so. My mother is SO afraid that CR will get depressed over this situation and she'll try to kill herself again. There. I said it. I named the big pink elephant in the middle of the room. And so she's totally willing to sacrifice S & baby to make sure CR stays happy.

Later in the conversation she told me that S is not going to college & CR doesn't really care. Again, not a surprise. I knew it, but hearing the words made me realize why I'm so upset: I was desperately holding on to the dream that S was going to get out of the trailer park trash world that she'd grown up in... and now she's just bringing another generation into it.

I know you hear me harping on college like it's the be-all, end-all solution. I know its not. I also know that a diploma is not a guarantee. I just want to expose to her to other people, other life styles, other ways of thinking. I don't even care if she graduates. I just want her out of that place.

But that's not going to happen. I know it, but I just can't seem to come to grips with it.

Early morning phone call

My day started with a phone call before my alarms had even started to go off. Even if it had come after the alarms had started to go off, it still wouldn't have been good.

Caller	Who is this?
Me	Huh? (Ed: just because I answered the phone, do not be under the illusion that I'm awake.)
Caller	Who am I speaking to?
Me	You called me. Who are you?
Caller	This is Brandi's mom.

Uh-oh.

E has been talking to Brandi non-stop for a couple of weeks now. At all hours of the day and night. I didn't worry too much about it because it was summer time.

I had asked E about her. He said she's 17 and she lives in "north TX." Where ever that might be. Again, I didn't worry about it because E doesn't have enough money to buy gas to get to church once a week, so he's sure not leaving the state.

As you can probably imagine, the mother had a whole different take on the situation.

For starters she did not appreciate all the calls in the middle of the night. (CR used to take the kids' cell phones to bed with her to prevent that sort of thing. I'm not sure why this mother hasn't thought of that since her daughter was equally the callee as the caller.)

Also, she had blocked E's cell phone number for "threats he'd made." I wish I'd have been more awake to probe that statement a little more. Sorry, folks. I don't have any more details on that one.

Ultimately, I told her I'd talk to E and we hung up.

I was on my way to work before I remembered about the call again. So I decided to call CR and see if she had any more details.

Other than remembering the name, she didn't. Oh, wait. She thought that Brandi was around 14. Whoa! That's a waaaay different number than 17! She also had a funny story about C. It seems that C takes great pleasure in tormenting E's female callers. Once she's aware of the fact that she's gotten under their skin and knows they don't like her, she calls them members of her fan club. CR said she thought Brandi was a member of C's fan club, so maybe I should ask her.

While she had me on the phone she decided to yell at me, "What are you planning with my daughter?" This is exactly why I try not to call CR. "Who? S? Nothing! Why?" Her tone still accusatory, "She keeps giving us a count down on the number of days til she's leaving." Well, duh, labor day is just around the corner. That date hasn't changed.

And then she recounted all the different ways she keeps trying to convince S to stay. For example, pointing out that she didn't used to want to be in the same room as E, why would she want to move where he's living now? I could really go off on a rant here, but I think you all know what I'm thinking, so I won't. Back to the original story...

I did talk to C, and other that remember the name and fan club status she didn't have any additional details either.

So E called later and was bummed because Brandi's mom had blocked my number. (She's quick, eh?) I told him that she had called and gave him the Reader's Digest version of the early morning call. (Which is something of a misnomer since I really don't remember that much of the call to begin with.) I really didn't want to have this conversation over the phone. E does much better when we do the serious stuff face-to-face. But here we were...

I asked E how old she was again. He said, "She's going to be 17." Ah. Clever trick. I won't be falling for that one again. So, is she a senior? "No, she's a junior." Oh, E, this is not good.

Then he wanted to know what the supposed "threats" were. I didn't have that info. He was like, "I WANT TO KNOW!" He was going to call her to find out. I tried to explain what a very bad idea that was. I guess I'll find out when I get home if he actually called her or not. (Yes, in case you're wondering, my lashes {that had just grown back} are falling out as I type this.)

Then, without hardly a breath between topics, "I want to move back to TX."

Announcer: In this corner, wearing blue trunks, the wallet: "The HELL you are going back to TX! I filled up my credit cards buying parts for your truck, furniture, clothes... you will stay here and PAY RENT!"

Announcer: And in this corner, wearing red trunks, the conscience: But you were so unhappy in TX...

Yes, he was unhappy, but he misses his friends. [sigh] I tried to tell him that it would get better after he started working. "But," he whined, "Brandi is the only one who knows me."

Anyone want to trade places tonight?

Is she coming or not?

That's the question E posed to me yesterday. "I don't know," I told him. "I haven't talked to her in about a week." A short while later I get a text message:

S	What day are you coming down here?
Me	The earliest I could come is late fri aug 29. we can drive back on the 31st (sunday). Is DS coming or do you know?
S	He isn't coming. He won't talk to me but I don't want to talk about it.

Alrighty then. At least we can continue to store the extraneous junk in that bedroom. Woo hoo!

In other news, I'm loving the new fridge. We were able to get 2 pizzas and a left-over casserole in there without serious re-arranging. Plus, we noticed there's still a drawer empty!

They broke up again

Texting with S today, I repeated the rumor I'd heard from E yesterday: that they were broke up again.

S	Yeah. I don't know what his deal is.
Me	R u still planning on coming to KS over labor day even if he can't come?
S	Yeah maybe it'll make him happy. He told me to go.
Me	Absence makes the heart grow fonder...
S	Yeah sure. He said he has to work all the time anyways so I wouldn't ever see him.

Yes, I know they've broken up before. But it seems like they get back together for shorter and shorter times. Fine by me. I wasn't anxious about trying to reel him in. (S says his problems have gotten worse over the summer.) Frankly, I think I'm going to have my hands full with S.

Talking to my mom on the phone today and she admitted for the first time that E has really made progress this summer. She also expressed concern about him back-sliding when/if S moves in. I share those concerns too, I just don't know what to do about them.

E is 19 now

My apologies for the lapse in entries. I'm working on a different project at work, which gives me less time for blogging. Dangit.

First and foremost: CR FINALLY SENT THE REFILLS!!! Since his insurance is still in limbo, that saved me from having to buy another month's worth.

On a related note: we went to see his med doctor today. Trying to get him off the current stuff and on to something that doesn't make him so drowsy.

In other news...

On Thursday of last week I got a series of text messages from CR:

I know the baby's sex!
I've been sworn to keep it a secret, at least for now
Ha ha! I know & you don't! Even if she tells you, you may not know cuz she hasn't decided if she's gonna tell the truth for fun

OMG, are we 12?? My response: Whatever.

Later, I get a message from S: Its a boy

Me	Is that what you wanted?
S	Yea

Alrighty then.

Talked to C last night. She's been sick for about a week. Sinus infection, I think. She missed 4 days of her required practices of flag-whatever-they-call it last week. Anyway, she confirmed that it's a boy. Generally speaking, boys are easier, so that will be good.

---

E celebrated his 19th birthday on Saturday. I took him out to his favorite BBQ place. I had told him the week before that if he wanted to invite a couple of friends from church, that would be ok.

Wednesday night... well, first we had to deal with his roadkill. He didn't just hit a bird, he hit a duck! And it broke the friggin' grill!


Sheesh.

Anyway, he was all jazzed up because he'd gotten some girl's number. I'd asked how old she was and he didn't know. So he called her while I was fixing dinner. And I heard him ask, "I have a serious question for you: how old are you?"

After the phone call he told me that she'd completely dodged the question and wouldn't give him a straight answer. I told him that probably meant she was too young for him. I figured that meant I was going to have to call and talk to the girls mother.

But then the girl called later that night... 1am to be exact. Yeah, I know. Believe me, I wasn't happy about it. The bad news is that he found out she is only 15. I told him that was too young for him. But the good news is that I don't have to worry about it: when she called, she was apparently drunk. That was a complete turnoff for him. In that moment, she lost him at hello.

So it was just he & I. My friend from work, JL, and her daughter joined us for desert. It was very low-key. I still cannot believe he's 19.

I was bummed because the present I ordered for him was delayed and didn't arrive until today. Also, when he was at his dad's, they did nothing to celebrate his birthday. He was there the week before his birthday and they didn't get him a card, stick a candle in a twinkie, nothing. Asshole.

He's still sleeping on the air mattress, due to no fault on my part. He just doesn't want to go shopping for the mattress. That's ok. The lawn needs to be mowed again.

Aaaaaand they're back together

I called S last night to see how she was after Friday's conversation. Of course she was better, but I gotta say is was the most frustrating conversation... First, she thinks that I don't get that she's trying to manipulate me. Oh, I get it. But I'm just not going to argue about it til there's something to argue about. For example, CR wants S to get a job. S doesn't want to get a job so she's gets her boyfriend, DS to pay her phone bill. Which he did for a while, but then he wants her to get a job, too. All the while she's testing me to see if I say anything about a job. I already said it when we first talked about her moving in, "Rule #1: you WILL get a job. That is non-negotiable." She thinks maybe the rules have changed since she's pregnant. Nope, but I'm not going to discuss it when she's still living in TX. It's not my house, not my rules.

C had told me that since S & DS were broke up, S decided to go out with someone else... and not come home that night. I wanted to find out the scoop on that too. When I asked her about it, she was shocked that I knew about it. Like, I just put my head in the sand until she decided to grace me with the details of her life. Clearly she believes that. And then, when I told her I'd heard it from more than one person, that REALLY stumped her! (BTW, it was just to piss of DS.)

So I talked to S as I was leaving the office (had to come in and make up the time from E's doctor appointment). I stopped and got gas and we hung up shortly after that. About 40 minutes later, DS called me and told me they were back together.

I swear, keeping up with these two will give you whiplash.

This just in...

On Friday, after reminding him all week, E was supposed to mow the lawn. (In case you're wondering, yes, we had a "talk" about this. I simply told him that if he wanted to be treated like an adult, then it was time to act like an adult. And making me constantly get on him to mow the lawn was not cutting it, pardon the pun. I guess we'll find out when he gets back if that tactic worked.)

Wait. I'm a little ahead of myself. Earlier in the week, I made E go with me to pay my car taxes because I was going to ask exactly what things had to be fixed on his truck so that it would pass inspection. Guess what? Nothing. Not a damn thing has to be fixed. The only thing that's "inspected" is the VIN#; they're just checking for stolen vehicles. So, on Thursday night I promised E we would get his vehicle taken care of when he got back from KC. There was a little tickle in the back of my brain that said he'd reached the end of his lucky rope by driving around un-registered.

So Friday afternoon, I tried to call him to remind him to mow. No answer. So I sent him a text message. Later in the afternoon the skies got all black at work, so I was going to call and see what the weather was doing at home. Still no answer. I told JL, my friend at work, that he was just being a brat and not answering the phone because he thought I was going to ask about mowing.

Finally I got a call. He got a ticket. I fricken knew it was coming. Of course he waited until late in the afternoon to deal with the mowing. Then, he realized he needed gas. So he ran to the gas station in town, and the cop stopped him about a block before he got home. Not only that, but he called for backup, so apparently it made quite a scene. It was $100 fine. Plus, the cop noted the crack in his windshield and said he'd cite him for that if he didn't get it fixed. JL remarked, "He's just not having the best luck with the popo is he?" You said it, sister!

It was a very upsetting experience for him. Not only was he humiliated, but E's perception was that the "backup" cop was itching to ... I wish I could remember E's exact words, but the gist was that he wanted to rough E up a bit. Who knows if its true or not. E was still pretty shaken up when I got home.

So we got some food, which I knew would take his mind off of things. Then I broke the cardinal rule and took him to see the movie that I had promised only if he'd mowed, "Step-brothers" with Will Ferrell. I know, I know. It was mostly to assuage my guilt over the matter.

---

Ok, on to the real news item of this post: as we were pulling into the parking lot of the theater, S calls. I answer, "Talk quick" She's crying, "Have you sent that paper for DS?"

So many thoughts to deal with: Why is she crying? Do I lie and say I have? Do I admit to procrastinating? In the absence of no other information to work with, I told the truth.

"Good. Don't send it! DS and I have been broke up for about a week. He was supposed to come over tonight and then he called and said he didn't have enough gas. And I just found out he went to visit Bob [I don't actually remember the friend's name, but Bob will do for now] and that's just a half mile from my house... [big sob]"

Not be be rudundent, but I fricken knew it! "Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"

"No."

"Are you alone?"

"No. Sheila [again, I don't actually remember the friend's name, but Sheila will do for now] is here with me. I was going to come up to see Grandma & Grandpa this weekend, but they never have called me back."

E wanted to know what the call was about, so I gave him the reader's digest version. His response:

E	I think you should still send the letter.
Me	No. She specifically asked me not to, so I won't. Just try to imagine if it were you and your ex-girlfriend.
E	I did, and I still think you should send the letter.
Me	Why?
E	Because I've regretted decisions I made like that.
Me	Well, I can't teach her those lessons. She can only learn by the consequences of her actions... just like you did.

I think he still mumbled under his breath, "well you still should send the letter." Ok now people, is that just precious or what? Him being all protective of his little sis... Say it with me now, "Awwwwwwwww."

I had heard about this impromptu trip earlier. E told me that she called her grandma, K, and pretty much demanded that they come pick her up for a visit. But she also wanted them to bring her back to TX by Friday. Not knowing that she and DS were broken up, I had surmised that she wanted to be back in time to see him. Now I don't have a clue what the Friday deadline was all about.

E also told me that she didn't want to see her dad while she was in KS because she, "didn't want to hear about it." E was like, "Oh, she's gonna hear about it, wherever she stays." I wonder if she knew E was going to be there this week...

E was also miffed that she didn't want to see me while she was in KS. Again, awwwwww! I told him it was fine and that I wouldn't stand in the way of her seeing her grandparents just like I wouldn't do that to him... besides I would be seeing her plenty when she came here to live.

---

I am on MD duty this week. E said before he left, "Can I trust you to feed MD while I'm gone?" Well, let's see... you trust me to pay your phone bill, your car insurance, put food on the table, buy your bedroom furniture... yeah, I think I can handle that.

S update

I know I owe you an update on S. I've been meaning to type this up all week, but the days have quickly slipped away.

On last Sunday, I got a text from S that said:

You wont have to worry about me going to DS's house cuz im not aloud over there

Very ominous, eh? So I ask, "Did something happen?" And she replied:

I was only aloud over on weekends and his dad is always making him do stuff so he doesn't have time to get me. Maybe when his dad works late i can

Now, of course I didn't want her going over there, so, to me, this is really good news. But I can't just respond, "WHOOPEE!!" Well, I could, but then I wouldn't be the world's greatest aunt. TWGA^SM
So I respond, "That sux" To which she replies:

Yea but we have been having our own problems

Whaaaat?????? Trouble in paradise????

I try to talk her into coming early. She resists. And that's all I know about that.

Then, a few days ago, out of the blue I get a text message from her that says:

Im not riding in the truck

Huh??? What truck? When?

E's truck. He says you guys are bringing it down here

This is the first I've heard of it.

Well he sent D a message saying you guys were moving me in his truck

I cannot control what he does, but using his truck is not part of my plan.

I guess but im getting accused of having plans mom didn't know cuz D told her that

At least its not me that's in trouble again. If you've been reading for any period of time, you know I have plenty of reasons to be irked at CR. So this is a question to all you moms in the crowd: What is the big deal what vehicle is used? Or if they move on Monday instead of Friday? Or June instead of July. The destination hasn't changed. There weren't any big "going away" celebrations planned. Or any plans that had to be changed for that matter. CR getting her panties in a bunch at every twist and turn of the story is really getting under my skin.

Anyway, I offered to talk to her mom, but I never heard back.

Also, I talked to E that night. He didn't see that he'd done anything wrong because he was only trying to save me money. I know he has all the faith in the world in that truck, but I don't. I also told him that since S has changed her mind before I'm not making ANY plans until I know for sure she's coming. And even then I'm going to call her the morning of just to make sure she hasn't changed her mind... again.

My friend at work, JL, thinks that E is tuning in to me starting to stress about money. Maybe. I did have to restrict his thermostat privileges because I'd get home from work and the house would be at 70. I have ceiling fans in every room. Its plenty comfortable at 74... even when I'm having a hot flash.

So I told him he could save me money by mowing the lawn before he left for his dad's. But I'd be willing to bet he didn't get that done. His excuse this week is that he can't trim. Last week I begged him to trim. Then, when he did, the trimmer ran out of twine. I'm like, "you don't have to trim. Just mow!" So we'll see what happened today when I get home.

I'm kinda scared right now

On the way home last night I was checking my messages (yes, I know it's a bad habit, but it's a looong drive) and I'd gotten a text message from S (from DS' phone, of course):

Im kinda scared right now

Scared??? Why? Is someone hurting you? Are you in danger? Why are you texting me and not calling 911???

Frantically, I called DS' phone, trying to reach her. No luck. So I left a message for him to have her call me if she was at his place.

Then, I called C's phone. She didn't pick up either.

So now I'm left to stew while I wait on return calls. I'm sure you've been there before; nothing but the worst possible scenarios go through your mind.

Finally C calls. She is Chatty Kathy. They've been celebrating little d's birthday (even though it's not actually the day) which is why she didn't answer her phone. "Oh, BTW, S has her own phone again. Grandma bought it for her." I took that to mean, "Don't use me as her answering service anymore." In my defense, the message I left her began, "I'm really sorry to have to leave this message with you..."

Actually, I found out later that Grandma didn't buy her a new phone. She got her a replacement of the same model she used to have. So I'm still at the top of the phone heap.

I call S. She is also at the house, celebrating the birthday. So I can cross all the scenarios off the list that had her in some sort of physical danger.

Turns out that she's scared for DS. His dad has graduated from weed and pills to cocaine. She's scared that if DS continues to live there he will turn out just like his dad. So I asked about them going to live with his mom. She said they're thinking about it, depending on what happens at his hearing in August. But today she's less than thrilled with that solution because his mom is so undependable. Ah, yes! That succinctly describes what I have surmised over the years.

I tried to emphasize time and again that I was very concerned for her well-being at DS' house. She kept saying, "yeah" like she understood, but I just didn't get the feeling that we were on the same page. So finally I pulled out the Ace and layed it on the table, "Look, this is not just about you," I told her. "You have got to be thinking of your baby. That is your biggest responsibility right now." "[quietly] I know." Ok, NOW we're on the same page.

Then we talked about life with an addict.

OH! I forgot to mention: my loser-brother went into treatment! I think his social worker nudged him into it. He was supposed to go weeks ago, but he has a lot of nerve damage from his diabetes, and had to have some tests run. I hope he sticks with it, but let's just say that my hopes aren't too high.


JL's comments from my last post were appropo. Reeling S in is going to take some work. And there are a lot more pro's than cons (no pun intended) to sending the letter.

In other news, E had his first appointment with the counselor today. He looked like a walking zombie. For some reason he couldn't sleep last night, so he had about 2 hours sleep. Plus his meds make him a little groggy. Apparently he could barely keep his eyes open while talking to the counselor.

She suggested weekly meetings, at least for a little while. That's when I discovered that he was planning a trip to his dad's at the beginning of August, for about a week. His grandparents have talked him out of taking the truck... which I don't know if that's good or bad. It just is, I guess. He had mentioned he was going to his dad's, but I thought it was just for the weekend. Great. Now I have a knot in my stomach.

Moral Dilema #312929193848583

I just want everyone to know I am substituting this blog for therapy. In case you hadn't figured it out... I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page.


This may feel very disjointed, but just try to go with it. I might be catching E's ADHD.


C called me today. I think she's only called once since she left KS, so it was good to hear from her. Sometimes when she calls she has nothing to say, she's just bored. So I hear about the wind, and the cats, and oh, an ant just crawled across the porch. But today she seemed to have an agenda.

First on the list, she hurt her leg. She had gotten up very early (before CR got home, which is at about oh-dark-thirty in the AM) to go bike riding with her friend who lives down the street. (I'm trying not to focus on the things I cannot control, so let's not zoom in on 2 teenage girls, riding around in the country, at that scary hour of the morning, and no adults within shouting distance... lalalalalalalalala) They go down a steep hill, skid, and C bangs up her leg pretty bad. Road rash for sure, plus some pretty deep cuts. C is hoping it will be healed in time for flag camp which is at the beginning of Aug.

When she gets home, she shows the leg to CR. Now, remember she and D are sharing the truck. CR says, "Why didn't you call me? I could have taken you to the hospital." But alas, with no other vehicle, there was no hospital visit in the cards as D had already left for work. CR tried to make a homemade butterfly on the severe cuts. It'll probably be fine, but what if it wasn't?

Next on the list: her neighbors have informed her that there are cobras, anacondas, water moccasins and MOUNTAIN LIONS that inhabit the area! Those, in addition to the SCORPIONS (that they've found in the house!)... and no way to get to the hospital.


Finally, she asks if I've talked to S lately. Which, no I haven't. But in my defense it is hard to get a hold of her since she doesn't have a phone, and you never know what house she's sleeping at. Oh, that was another tidbit C wanted to share. Apparently S's paternal grandmother, K, is going to buy her a new phone. Yeahyeahyeah, ok, I probably would have bought her a phone if I wasn't so tied up with E, but it would have been a crappy phone. I'm sure K will buy the best that Sprint has to offer. (Which means, of course, that I have to buy a new phone else my position at the top of the phone chain will be usurped by a teenager!? Nu-uh.)

C also told me that she told S that I was "poor" now (tho, she didn't know about the gold-plated pills, so she didn't realize exactly how poor) and that I would be really poor after buying E's bedroom furniture. S's response? "Oh well, she'll just work a bunch of overtime and then she can buy my bedroom furniture." 'Scuse me?

But C was just bubbling over to tell me that S and the baby-daddy, DS, have come up with a "plan B." If DS does not get his probation dismissed in August, meaning he won't be able to leave the state, he and S are going to go live with his mother in ... I can't remember the town, but somewhere else in TX. S is really fond of this idea because DS's mom has not mentioned that she will have to get a job.

The letter of support I'm supposed to write to his probation officer is actually the subject of my moral dilemma. Through various conversations I have put 2 and 2 together and surmised that he's doing drugs again. So, do I send the letter in or not?

If I send the letter in and they actually run a drug test (which they have yet to do, but which he most likely fail), does that have any implications on me... besides making me look clueless?

OTOH, what if I don't send the letter? There's less of a chance he'll get off probation... which means he'll continue to party with his friends, they'll move in with his mother, and S will continue to shirk her responsibility ... aaaaaand the cycle I've been trying to prevent starts all over again.

But now there's that whole blatant attitude of entitlement that S has. Maybe its too late. Maybe the cycle has already begun.

For the record, I'd never planned to buy her new bedroom furniture. I have an old set of mine in her intended bedroom and that will be fine. I did, however, commit to buying a bed since hers was given to little d, I believe.

Regardless... I'm embarrassed for her that she's acting like a spoiled brat. E doesn't have a job yet, but he is trying to pull his weight. I have no doubt that S would be sitting on the couch (eating bon-bons, if there were any in the house) all day watching TV.

I know nothing of DS's mother. Wait, I do know something. I know that in all the time he has been going out with S... having a terrible time at home with his own family drama, she has never come to town. Not once. And I'm sure I don't know all the times he was having problems with his father, but the ones I know about scream for a little support.

So that's all I really know. Granted, it's not a great impression, but does that mean it would be a bad choice? Dunno. I am very worried about not making S get a job. How do you teach responsibility without giving it? What happens after the baby comes? Will she make sure S is taking care of it? Will she just hire a nanny? Or will she let it scream in its crib for hours on end?

I don't know the answer to most of those questions, but I just talked myself into sending the letter.

Pregnancy causes brain farts

So last night, I get a text from S that says:

Next chance you get im ready to leave now

I want you to picture the cartoon character whose face slowly gets red, then blasts steam out both ears. That was me. I was yelling at the screen, "WTF, S???? Didn't we just have this conversation 2 days ago??!?" But of course I just sent a message that calmly reminded her that I didn't have another 3 day weekend until labor day, which isn't til Sept.

Yea that's fine

She replied. Today, at work, J tried to tell me that pregnancy causes brain farts. I guess I'll have to take her word for that. Although I'm 100% sure it causes everyone around the pregnant woman to go bat-shit crazy.

In other news, E and I toured the community college. About these tours, let me just say: I feel very old.

I think E was able to relate to the vo-tech advisor. Also, the size was not as overwhelming and that made him feel a little better. However, the program is almost full. They have 28 spots available and only 3 seats left. So I told E he needed to decide: do we tour the other school and take the chance that this semester fills up at the CC, or sign up now? He said he wanted the other tour. Later he told me that if he had to wait til January to start classes that would be just fine with him.

There's been so many other things going on that I've forgotten how bad he is with change. Yes, I know: everyone is bad with change... but it's particularly hard on him. So I'm thinking we'll just change the plan to have him start school in January, regardless. I'll have to discuss that with him tonight to see how he feels about it, but I think he'll like it. I also inquired about a job for him at the warehouse at my company. Man, it would be nice if that would come through. It would let him make some money and take the pressure off getting his truck fixed.

I must cut this entry short because I just remembered that I have an Rx to pick up. It's my TMJ medicine that I ran out of and haven't had for several days.

Stop the spinning, I wanna get off now

When last we left our heroes yesterday, S was heading to KS for nebulous reasons.

She finally called me. DS' dad, G's, wife/girlfriend/whatever-the-hell-she-is has decided that she didn't like S being there. So she told G to tell DS to tell S that she had to go. (Didja get all that?)

So I get home, and first thing I had a talk with E. Holy cow, talk about Jekyll & Hyde... I don't remember if it was "S" or "TX" that turned him, but it was like this past month had never happened. He yelled and growled and stomped around the house. He's so afraid of what S is going to be like... and S is so afraid that E is going to be the same person as he was in TX... do you think they're old enough to understand a self-fulfilling prophecy?

When E came back with me after graduation, CR had not been informed that he was leaving that soon. And he was like, "Ok, see ya. Bye." And I was in trouble again.

This time, I told S that she had to inform her mother. She said she would after CR woke up. (In my birthday haze yesterday, I'd forgotten it was CR's day off. 2 more demerits.) I texted her last night to ask if she'd informed CR and no, of course she hadn't. So I told her she HAD to get that info to her. Well, by then it was after CR's normal time to leave for work. (Of course, since it was her day off that was not valid ... yeah, yeah, yeah. 2 demerits for me.) I'd said, "Call her, leave a voicemail, text her, whatever. Just notify her." So she texted. Later I got a text from S that said, "Done."

Today, the day started with an 8:30 meeting. Of course you know that I'm not a morning person, but with the muscle relaxers I have to take for my TMJ, it's truly a challenge just to get out of bed. I had to set 2 more alarms (which brought the grand total up to 6... or maybe 7... I can't keep track). Even then, by the time I got here my right eye still wasn't working. You know those puzzles that when you "relax" your eyes you see a different image? Well that's what my eyes do. Only instead of another image, there's two of everything. So I have to close one eye to see where the real cars are. Poor me, I know.

Post meeting, I saw that there was vmail on my phone. It's an ANGRY message from CR. Woo-hoo! The gist was, "Why are you taking away my kid {read: grandchild}" That's it, I'm the bad guy. I called her and she didn't answer so I left the reader's digest version in her vmail. Then I called my mother. I basically told her that I'm tired of getting yelled at for taking care of HER children. *I* could use a little support in this matter instead of getting beat up all the time since I'm trying to do the right thing. She's like, "Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Well, how 'bout the next time she calls you all whining and crying you take MY side for a change? AAARRRGGHH!

Moving on with the day, I try to get a rental car scheduled. They're all out of minivans. Wonderful. But he'll check and try to see what's available in the other locations and get back to me.

Called E to remind him to call the doctor.

CR called me back. Still angry, but less projecting anger at me, if that makes any sense. I recapped what I'd left in the voicemail. First she wants to complain about how S never does anything at home... and how G's wife/whatever is probably angry about that. I can neither confirm nor deny. Then she wants to re-hash E's whole trip to his paternal relatives. Oh sure, its not like I'm working or anything... plus, that was SO last week. Blah, blah, blah, making a pass at his step-mom... blah, blah, blah, E's truck broke down... blah, blah, blah.

Got the new power supply today. Oh, I think I forgot the mention this one. For Christmas I got the TX clan a very expensive piece of network equipment that would protect them from the risky [internet] behavior that the kids had of surfing the music/whatever download sites. They couldn't figure out why they all had spyware. Hmmmmmm... let's think for a second... So I got this equipment for them. All they had to do was PLUG IT IN. My company sells these, so we would set it up and manage it, they just had to PLUG IT IN. But "big D" didn't understand how it worked, so he wouldn't plug it in. ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME???!? Nope. I said, "If I was a heart surgeon and I told you you needed a pace maker and you didn't understand how that worked, would you not get that either?" So fine. I took it back when I was down there for graduation. It was out of the box, so I got a Walmart bag full of parts. When I went to plug it in at home, I discovered there was no power supply. So I had to order a $17 power supply. Which I realize is small change compared to the thousands I've laid out lately, but it's the principal. Bitter? Party of one...

Then my mother called with news from the court house. Last weekend, when I was in KC, I'd asked her to call the courthouse to get a copy of E's name change papers. See, he was born with my last name/CR's maiden name. Then, when he was 6 mo. old, CR got married to J, so they changed his last name to J's last name. Only the birth certificate says my last name. In order to get his license changed to KS, he has to show his current license and another form of ID, and birth certificate first on the list. So I ordered a copy of the birth certificate. But the license says J's last name. And I have no paper trail to explain how he got from A to B. CR said she had a copy of the court papers, but since the move hasn't been able to lay her hands on them. So I asked mom to get me a copy.

And the court house told her... wait for it... HIS NAME HAS NEVER BEEN LEGALLY CHANGED! Apparently she was supposed to send something in after she got the document that's been stapled to his birth certificate all these years, but she never did. She's just shown this document to everyone and nobody asked any questions. So all of E's paperwork, social security stuff, etc., says J's last name, but it's not E's legal last name. Everyone keeping up here?

I called CR and she said, "Oh yeah... I sorta remember that. I was gonna send it in, but I got busy..." aaaand now it's 18 years later.

I called E and told him and he said, "That's interesting." What do you want your last name to be? "Dad's." Of course. Not that either answer is going to be simple to fix.

I finally get a hold of S (who still doesn't have a cell phone because she smashed hers to bits in the Walmart parking lot fight, remember?) to confirm that she's coming this weekend. Thank God I called because she changed her mind. Her and the wife/whatever have kissed and made up and now everything is hunky dory.


The sun is staring at me like, "But the day has more to offer!" I told it to shut the hell up.