The Party's Over

Monday night I was at Walmart when S called me.

There was lots of people around, plus I was on my headset so I couldn't hear every single word that she was saying. But instead of saying, "Huh?" every few seconds I was just doing that thing where you say "uh-huh" every once in a while to acknowledge the other party is talking, only half-listening to what they're saying.

I was in the milk section when I heard, "blah, blah, blah, keeping it."

Me	Uh-h... wait. What did you say?
S	[garbled] [static] [talking too softly]
Me	Keeping what?
S	That thing I have in my stomach!
Me	You're keeping the baby?!
S	Yeah.
Me	When did you decide this?
S	DS and I talked about it today.
Me	I thought DS didn't want to keep it either.
S	Well, he just didn't want his dad to be around it. Now that we're moving in with his mom it'll be ok.
Me	Oh, S. Please don't do this. You know you don't want to keep it.
S	(crickets...)

I fucking KNEW this was going to happen!

Apparently DS has some relative who's "rich" and every question I asked was answered with this rich aunt he has.

Yeah, she's ready to have a baby like I'm ready to be in a swimsuit competition. She can't even SAY baby!

That THING I have in my stomach

Seriously!!!

So I'm wandering dazed through the isles and my phone calls C. (It has a mind of its own sometimes.) I had my headset on and all of a sudden I heard the dingle in my ear. I answered it, surprised.

C	You sound funny.
Me	I'm just surprised. My phone called you, I didn't.
C	Well it would have been nice if you had called me.
Me	Sorry. I'm still in shock.
C	Why?
Me	S is keeping the baby.

C was not happy about the news. I related the conversation I'd had with S to her. She asked a lot of rhetorical questions. Then she ended with, "Well, I'm going to go yell at her... unless you forbid me."

She's so funny.

Both C and CR yelled at her. Not that it did any good.

The bad thing is that I found this news out at Walmart. Before I knew it my cart was filled with Oreos, Little Debbies and icecream.

Later, I remembered the few minutes of guilty pleasure I'd allowed myself when I was looking at cribs online. I guess my suit of detachment-armor wasn't so strong afterall.

Dammitdammitdammit.

E Gets Blackmailed

Over the weekend I sent an email to E's grandparents telling them long, sad story of E's legal name.

I added E to my pre-paid legal service that I have through my work. I called to ask them about E changing his last name, but because he's over 18 they wouldn't talk to me about it. The lady said, "Is there some reason why he can't call for himself?"

Yes, because he's 19 and doesn't know anything.

So I could only ask about the process. Fine. Whatever. I really just wanted to know how much it was going to cost. (About $500, in case you were wondering.) But I also have to keep him on the plan at $17/mo.

But I decided I wasn't going to pay for that. I'm not vested in his paternal side of the family at all. If they want him to have their last name, they can pay for it. I've gone above and beyond just putting him on my plan.

So in the email I told them how much it would cost. If they couldn't pay for it, that's fine, but I'd like to know so I could take him off the plan.

Sunday, J (E & S's dad) called. He said he'd give me a credit card over the phone and to go ahead and set things up. I asked if he wanted to talk to E and he said he'd call him later.

He did call E later. They talked for quite a while. He (J) talked so loudly that I could hear some words, but I couldn't make out everything. But I distinctly heard something about "not letting that side of the family know."

So I asked E when he got off the phone, "What was all that about?"

E	Changing my name.
Me	Really? Because you were on there for a long time.
E	Yeah. (Long pause -- I guess deciding if he was going to tell me or not.) He says he won't pay for it unless I stay in KS.
Me	Really!?
E	Yeah. (laughs) But he didn't say how long I had to stay in KS.

I have to admit, I was jealous for a second, because it seemed like a good idea and I admonished myself for not thinking of it.

But then, when I saw it wasn't going to work, I thought, "Well, there you go. It was a stupid idea. That's why I didn't think of it."

But we're not supposed to know about it, so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone!

S: New Plan in the Works

I called S on Friday (the 31st). No answer. I called her on Saturday. No answer.

Hmmmm. Me thinkest she might be dodging my calls.

She went out to dinner with a friend Friday night, and didn't come home. I think she was gone either all or most of the day on Saturday, too. Apparently she showed up on Sunday.

CR called me first yesterday. She told me that S intends to move to Abilene... or maybe it was Amarillo... some city that started with an "A" in TX. DS's mother lives there, so they're going to go live with her. CR told me that DS's mother intended to put S on her insurance at work. I was like, "Nowadays, I can't even imagine someone having such good health insurance that they can add their son's pregnant girlfriend, but I guess it's nice if you can get it."

CR also told me that DS's mother (I have no idea what her name is, therefore I'm shortening it to DSM) didn't know about the pregnancy until yesterday and she was all, "Oh! My first grandchild!" Great. Because this situation isn't messy enough...

S also told CR that she'd tried to call me, but I didn't answer. In this age, where we have nifty technology like caller-id, why do people still lie about that? Yep, you guessed it. Her number was not in the caller-id list.

So I called her. Talking to her is so bizarre because she sounds like she knows what's going on, but then, OTOH, she also sounds delusional.

S told me that DSM has Medicaid. So that explains the health insurance.

When I asked her about transportation, she said that DSM has an old truck, which she has to get tags for. DSM will keep the truck, and she'll give her old car to DS and let him trade it in on whatever he wants. (Like it's going to be an even trade-in or something...)

Of course, all of this is contingent on the fact that DS gets his probation moved to the A-city that I can't remember the name of. (That might actually happen as TX only got up in arms when he tried to leave the state.)

Also, DSM had at least 2 kids that were adopted by other family members.

I told S:

• Lots of things need to happen in a short period of time, but I'm not paying for a home study until she gets settled on the plan.
• Don't let DSM guilt you into something that you don't want. You've been quite clear in the fact that you don't want this kid. Don't let her talk you into keeping it.
• Don't assume that DSM's experience with family members adopting her babies will be the same as yours. It may be, but it could also be quite different.
• I want daily updates. The business day ends at 5:00. I want a message of some sort by 5:01. Every day.
  

I have to wonder if DSM will let her lay on the couch 23 hours a day.

She is still very concerned about DS's drinking and drug habits. She thinks she can save him. I know. Delusional, right?

CR doesn't believe any of this will happen. S has said she's moving out so many times, and it has fallen through every time. So she's like, "[eh] I'll believe it when it happens."

I don't know enough about DSM to even guess when, or if all of this will happen. I'm just taking it one day at a time.