The Little Guy's School Pic

Words this makes me think of: brat, devil, brat, ornery, thankful (I don't have to raise him)

Feelin' GREAT Today!

The drama started early at my house today.

CR had called mom and she was briefed on the events of yesterday. This is how the conversation began:

Mom thought you and I should talk before I go kill my daughter.

HA! Take all the mystery out of it, why dontchya?

Here's the Reader's Digest version: DR is ready to kick her out, and CR is not far behind. I told her not to kill S. Prison isn't worth it.

So, CR did talk to her. She said it was like pulling teeth trying to get her to talk. S swore there was no money involved with the CA agency. (Yeah, right. I'll bet you've got a bridge to sell me too.) Anyway, her [main] bone of contention is that she doesn't want to come to KS.

CR also invoked the MIGHTY POWER of GUILT (when you say that in your head, make sure the echo reverberates) with time-tested phrases like:

• Do you have any idea what your life would have been like without R in it?
• Who do you think paid for that class ring on your finger?
• Several variations on the "who do you think paid for that" theme
  

CR has spent all day calling attorneys... or, rather, trying to get them to call her back. One thing she found out was that in TX if the birth mother is under-age (which, S is only 17) then CR can sign the paper for her. But here's the thing: S turns 18 ten days before the baby is due. So that plan is good only if the baby comes 11 (or more) days sooner than it's due.

I did my little part and called my pre-paid legal place to see if they could refer me to a TX attorney. (They can.)

In all the phone calls of the past 24 hours, I've gotten more props for doing my part with the kids than I have in the past 19 years. So, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about myself today.

Regarding the baby, here's my stance: It's S's decision. CR can try to point her this way or that way, but S is the one who has to look herself in the mirror every day. I do not know what part DS is playing in the decision-making (and I'll bet he is playing a part), but that's still S's decision as to how involved she makes him.

Of course I want the baby. And if I get it, I will love it and do my best to take care of it. But I'm not going to compete with anyone to get it. If I don't get it, I hope the people that do will love it and take care of it as I would. I'm feeling very detached from the process, and I think that's a good thing right now.

Regardless of the outcome, S has really shown her true colors in the process. My mother said that she has no respect for S left. I know I certainly don't feel the same about her as I did a week ago. Even CR said on the phone this morning, "Over the years E has done a lot of things that I didn't care for. But I never thought of him as a disappointment. But that's how I think of S now."

---

And now, today's horoscopes.

Me:
Disagreements of one sort or another are likely over the next 24 hours and the atmosphere may not be entirely to your liking, but with Mars on your side there is nothing you need to be afraid of. Give as good as you get - then give a bit more.

CR:
You may be of the opinion that might makes right, and in certain areas you may be correct in that assumption, but what happens today will show you that it is much better to win others round by persuasion than by forcing them to change.

S:
Others will try to force you to do things you don't want to do today, and you must resist. On the work front especially you need to be more assertive, even at the risk of upsetting important people. What's important about them? Their stupidity for starters. (Dear Horoscope People: She just lays on her butt all day! If that's what passes for "work" these days, where do I apply?)

It's like the recipe for the perfect storm, isn't it? I think detachment will serve me well in this battle. Now hand me my lance and I will trot gallantly into the sunset...

Or...! Maybe I should give Jerry Springer a call...?

Roller Coaster

What a roller coaster of a day!

We have a benefit at my work that allows us to subscribe to pre-paid legal services. I originally signed up because I wanted to have a will drawn up. Anyway, since I'm a member, I can call and talk to an attorney and they will not be trying to get me off the line because I haven't paid a retainer fee.

So I got to ask all the questions I wanted about the adoption. Long story short, it would make my life infinitely easier if S were to have the baby in KS. Also, if the service refers me to an attorney, then I get 25% off the bill. And since we're talking thousands of dollars here, that could be a pretty big chunk of change!

Plus, I double-verified that my health insurance would cover her and the baby starting right now. She just has to be in KS. I was super excited about this as she hasn't seen a doctor in over 2 months! (I know, I know! Don't get me started!)

Woo-Hoo! tick-tick-tick... going up... tick-tick-tick...

Then I called S. I'd given her way more days to think about things than I said I was going to. We chit-chatted about nothing in particular for a few minutes. I won't give you a play-by-play, but let me just highlight some portions of the conversation for you.

It's all your fault!

Referring to her inability to make a decision about moving to KS to have the baby. Make sure you insert the whine when you say that in your head. I told her there's several people responsible for her pregnancy, but I wasn't one of them!

You're just heaping a big bucket of stress on me!

More whine with this one. This was after I'd forced her into a corner and told her she needed to suck it up and be a grown-up.

Throw your hands up... big hill! AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Here's the deal: At some point S contacted an adoption agency in California. (No, I don't have any details on how she got the number, when she picked them, how she picked them, etc. I was kinda blind-sided by this info.) They have made it as easy on her as it can be: pick the parents from the packet they'd sent her, sign this piece of paper, we'll take care of the baby after its born, viola! You're done!

Loop-de-loop! Here it comes! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

As she's talking about the packet it suddenly dawned on me, "OMG. Does she expect me to justify myself as a parent?" I was so stunned by the thought that I blurted out, "You don't know these pepole, except what you've read about them in the packet. You've known me for almost 18 years. I've been there in the good and the bad. You know I'll do everything I can to take care of this baby."

"They're going to fly out here to meet me."
"Great," I told her. "That'll be like a first date. Everyone will be on their best behavior."

That's about the time I sorta lost it and told her that it was her decision and she needed to suck it up.

I called my mom to tell her about the conversation. (CR was still in bed at this point, since she works nights.) As we were talking it occurred to both of us at about the same time that the CA agency was probably offering her boat loads of cash as well.

Please remain seated while the ride comes to a complete stop. Gather your belongings and exit to the right...

Frankly, I hit the wall in that moment of ephinany. I am not paying her to adopt her baby! She is delusional if she thinks that's going to happen. I'm so pissed at her being such a whiny, selfish baby about the whole thing I can't see straight.

---

In other news... I decided that I'm not going to buy E any more medication. If he's fine with moving to TX (and it's all he talks about), and he knows he's not going to have meds down there, then I shouldn't have to bust my hump trying to get them for him here.

I told him about my decision and he was completely fine with it. So that should be fun!

My Special Talent

I have a special talent. (No, not like Steve Martin in "The Jerk") When someone close to me gets sick, or get some sort of medical condition, I get it too. No, I don't really get it, but I produce very real symptoms.

It started years ago when my mother got insomnia -- I stopped sleeping. Then, CR had her pap come back bad. Me too! But she wouldn't go back and get another pap, so mine kept coming back bad. I told my doctor, "Look, its just because I'm upset with my sister..." She said, "Yeah, ok. We're still gonna do this." I ended up having to have surgery with that one.

Over the years "close" has come to mean more of a proximity thing, rather than an emotional one. I say this because one year CR's second husband got hemorrhoids -- the painful kind. Poor thing, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. [cough, cough] Now, I'd had those before, but they were never painful. UNTIL he had them. OMG, that was an awful week.

One year, a woman I worked with had several cysts develop in her breasts. She deliberately didn't tell me because she knew about my special talent. Guess who found a lump anyway? I was freaking out at work that day and I told her about it. She just hung her head and said, "Who told you?" Who told me what? "So nobody told you?" I felt like we were in an Abbott & Costello routine. Who told me what? "OMG. How do you do that?" I don't know which one of us was more surprised.

If only I could figure out how to make money with this "talent", ya know?

Anyway, my friend and office neighbor, JL, has been having problems with vertigo for a few weeks now. I had a stray thought around the time I started having that eye tick, "Thank goodness I didn't 'catch' vertigo..."

So today, JL was in my office and we were chatting. She mentioned that she wasn't able to get an appointment to go see the ENT for her vertigo for 2 weeks. Then she mentioned something about her eyes shaking.

My eye tick may have subsided... OMG, I just remembered something. I "caught" the eye tick from a woman I worked with years, and years ago. I'll have to email her. She'll probably get a kick out of that.

But I digress... I haven't had my crazy meds in over a week. Too busy with E. So when the eye shaking thing started, I figured it must be some sort of side effect from stopping that med so abruptly. (I finally managed to get them picked up last night, but then I forgot to take them this morning.)

So when JL said, "shaking eyes" I was like, "Are you friggin' kidding me? Is THAT what that is??!?" JL thought it was SOOO funny -- sympathetic vertigo. Woo-hoo. Can you imagine living in California with this? Is that an earthquake? No, it just looks like an earthquake. Fun times.

My Horoscope

Here's my horoscope today:

No one can question your commitment, but can you achieve something of lasting value? That remains to be seen. You are more likely to make an impression if you allow your passions to lead you. Do what you enjoy, not what others expect of you.

Dear Horoscope People:

We Cancers are literal people. I've got a lot of shit going on in my life. I need to know exactly which part of it you are referring to. Committment to what? Make an impression on whom? Details, people. I need details!

The Cat Is Out of the Bag

When CR and I talked on Saturday, we eventually got around to discussing Big D's sister, who recently announced she's pregnant.

Blah, blah, blah, pregnant... blah, blah, blah, babies...

So I figured, this is a good a time as any...

Me	So ... I need to talk to you about S.
CR	Ok.
Me	Well, she's decided to give the baby up for adoption.
CR	I kinda figured. She hasn't mentioned it in a while, so I thought she'd changed her mind. How did you find out?
Me	I'd heard she was thinking about it so I just asked her.
CR	(silence)
Me	And I was thinking I would adopt the baby.
CR	We'd thought about asking you early on, but then it seemed like she changed her mind and we didn't want to get your hopes up.

By "we" she meant herself and DR. I guess its nice that everyone was thinking of me, but do these people not realize that something like this takes time?? Oh, and she had already talked to mom about it! (But mother failed to mention that to me because she was, "trying to stay neutral")

She took it much better than I'd anticipated. Kind of sad, and yet resigned. JL thinks that she is [finally!] coming to the conclusion that she just can't bring another kid into her < insert adjective here > life. In retrospect, my timing was excellent with E being back there and eating them out of house and home for a week.

I called mom to tell her that CR knew and she didn't have to worry about keeping the secret anymore. And she was like, "Did you tell her that **I** didn't tell you?" I told her I'd try to work that in the next conversation I had with CR.

"Well, why wouldn't you be able to work that in?" You're killing me, mother, stick the knife in, jab it, twist it, make-a-figure-eight-with-it killing me.

I responded, "Well, let's say she calls to talk about E. She says, 'So, how's E?' Am I supposed to respond with, 'BTW, Mom didn't tell me anything.' Seems a little out of place don't you think?"

Later CR texted me:

Mom should be happy that this would only make her a grandma again instead of a great grandma.

And then again:

I know I said I wanted to be an aunt from my side of the family but this wasn't exactly how I thought it would happen.

I still haven't heard from S. I know, it was too much to think she might take some responsibility on her own. Oddly, CR and I were on the same page again here: we both thought she needs to move to KS to have the baby and facilitate the adoption.

Someone check the temperature in hell... It must be getting chilly with CR and I agreeing twice in one weekend.

E is back in town

E came back on Saturday night / Sunday. (Had to pick him up at the bus depot at 2:45AM, thankyouverymuch!)

I think he really wants to go back to TX. It was a good week for him. Even S had to admit that he is a changed person. I could tell from her voice that it hurt her to say that. Oddly, CR's comment on the week was, "We didn't kill each other." Which, to me, is a far cry from all the other reports I got. Interesting, eh?

But there's the issue of getting his stuff back to TX -- especially his truck. I talked to CR on Saturday and we both agreed that he should come back, get a job (ANY job!) and save up the money to get his stuff back there. She told him this before he left. I told him the same thing when he got home. He spent several hours on Sunday going through several job-related websites. Its amazing how much more motivated he is when he's getting the same message all 'round.

He and I also went over his portion of the budget again. I found the books I used to use to keep track of my expenses when I first moved out on my own and I gave that to him and helped him get it set up. Then we set up a little spreadsheet. As we finished I said, "Now don't freak out over this stuff again!"

E	I am freaking out.
Me	Well, stop it. It'll be fine. We just have to start keeping track of this stuff.
E	Ok. But I'm freaking out.

He called me yesterday (Monday) at work. He was still freaking out, only worse.

E	You need to sell the Civic.
Me	Why?
E	It's just costing you extra money.
Me	What are you going to drive? The truck?
E	Yes.
Me	(thinking)
E	The gas mileage is not that different.
Me	Ok. But I'm busy at work and can't discuss this right now.

I'm beginning to see what a wonderful parenting technique deferring is.

I was prepared to discuss the windshield that needs to be replace on the truck, the registration tags that need to be paid for, etc., when I got home last night. However, he was no where to be found.

I put all my stuff away and finally ended up in his bedroom. He was all bundled up in bed.

Me	(just staring because the light is off and I can't tell if he's awake or not)
E	What?
Me	Oh, you're awake. What's wrong?
E	I'm freezing.

Ok, the house was a little chilly, but certainly not freezing. I kissed his forehead. He was hot.

Dang it! This is, like, the 3rd or 4th fever he's had in as many months. He runs a fever for 2 or three days and then he's back to normal.

Me	Did you eat?
E	No.
Me	(thinking: uh-oh...) Do you want something to eat?
E	No.
Me	(thinking: uh-oh... bad sign...) I could fix you something... how 'bout some raemen noodles?
E	No. I'm not hungry.

Uh-oh, that's a really bad sign.

I got some tylenol in him and that, of course, helped his headache... which in turn allowed him to eat some noodles.

I sent tylenol with him to his bedroom and told him to take them as soon as he woke up.

Anyone besides me think this could be a side-effect of his meds?

Things Are Starting to Look Up

I had a brainstorm last night.

It occurred to me that I have the money I'd need to adopt the little one in my retirement account. But, oh! The taxes on taking any money from that account... but wait! My mother is actually retired! She could take the money out of her account without the big tax hit and I could pay her back when I get my taxes back... ah, yes! I see a plan forming...

I talked to S first, because, frankly, it's not my information to share that she's giving up the baby. She had no problem with me sharing with my mother. I am a little worried, tho. She doesn't seem to want anyone to know until the very last moment. But that worry is for another day, I guess.

I talked to my mother this morning. She was a little overwhelmed, but I think it took some of the sting out of the news that I was going to adopt the baby. NO, that's not why I'm doing it, just in case you were wondering. She is going to talk to her tax guy.


Transportation Update
Big D's brother, SC, and his wife just had a baby. So the wife is staying home right now. So SC lent Big D his truck to drive to work, while SC is driving his wife's vehicle. Granted, it's not a long-term solution, but maybe in that amount of time E & Big D can get one (or more) of the vehicles in the back yard working.

Report from TX

Report from C:

C	E is weird.
Me	Weird good, tho, right?
C	Yeah. Like today he made S breakfast!
Me	Wow.
C	And, he's been hanging out with DS. And even DS thinks he's being much more mature.
Me	Well, that's good.
C	And he's even getting along with Big D.
Me	Good.
C	But if this trip is supposed to convince him what its really like here, then its not working.
Me	Why?
C	Well, the first night he was here we had steak. Then mom cooked dinner. Then, tonite, S is fixing dinner. Oh! And he hasn't had one fight with S!

Actually, I already knew that last part because E called me to check in this afternoon and he told me there hasn't been one fight either.

He is sleeping on the couch with S. (Its one of those big sectional couches.) He also set his alarm to get D up and get him ready for school.

He's almost giddy that he's getting to work on the old van. (The one that CR tried to drive through a puddle that was waaay too deep.)

I'm glad everyone's getting to see the good side of him. But I'm not sure if everyone's remembering that if he moves there permanently he won't have his meds!

[sigh] I know, I know: just be happy for the good times. I'm working on it.

It's Just Too Much

Last week, when I talked to CR, she had mentioned that both she and Big D were in hot water at their jobs. Mostly because they had only one vehicle. She couldn't stay as late as her boss wanted, and if she stayed late at all, it made Big D late for work.

While E was on the bus, I suppose he was somewhere in Oklahoma, CR called me to say the truck had been repossessed. And while they have 4 vehicles in their back yard, apparently none of them are running. It would cost about the same amount to get one of them running as it would to go out and buy some cheap piece of sh!t.

Once again I tried to convince CR that the cost of living in KS is cheaper than her resort town in TX. I was wasting my breath. I doubt Big D will ever leave TX.

Boy, E sure knows how to pick the right time to go for a "visit", eh? Actually, it probably is a good time because that's how CR's house always is: all chaos, all the time.

CR told my mother that she's going to try and convince E to come back to live with me. And when I talked to CR on Saturday, she told me (for the first time!) that E living with me was the right place for him to be. I nearly dropped the phone.

I know E wants to be in TX. He misses his friends and family. He's also under the delusion that he can bypass the formal paperwork for getting a job and work his family connections. Only he doesn't know about Big D's situation. And Big D's step-dad was recently laid off. So much for family connections.

Honestly, I don't even know what to hope for during his visit. He won't have his medicine while he's there. CR was very clear that she could not afford to put him on her insurance at work, much less pay for his meds.

Financially, I'm in a very bad place. So, him moving back to TX would at least allow me to work on the mountain of debt.

And as long as I'm airing my dirty laundry, it doesn't seem like I'm going to be able to adopt S's baby. Turns out, adoptions are very expensive! It will cost between $5,000 - $10,000 to get all the paperwork done.

Now before y'all respond and tell me that I can't save everyone, I want to share a phrase that I was reminded of driving into work today. Years ago I used to have several books on Murphy's Law. They each had oodles and kaboodles of corollaries and postulates based on the original, "If anything can go wrong, it will." The one that popped into my brain was, "If you can keep your head when everyone around you is losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation."

If my family goes down the drain, dragging the kids along with it, what is the point if I keep my head above water?

Dejected

Just dropped E off at the bus station. He's very nervous about riding the bus, but there's no transfers, so he should be ok. I showed him how to read his itinerary. He should be fine.

The good thing about anti-depressants is that they take the edge off the really bad feelings so you can focus and be more objective.

The bad thing about anti-depressants is that its almost impossible to cry. (Its almost impossible to do other things too, but that's for another post.) So I have a lump in my throat, tears waiting in the wings, but they have no where to go.

I'm going to work today to try and keep my mind busy on other things. I have a week to try and get caught up on things that I should have been working on.

I asked E to call or text when he got to TX. He should be ok.

Heard It Through The Grapevine

After E talked to me yesterday, I think he called everyone he knew and told them he was moving back to TX.

He called his sister, S, and she told him not to come.

He called his sister, C, and she told him not to come.

Big D and CR did not return his calls.

My mother tried to talk to him and emphasize how different things would be. Also, how very bad things were before he left. He cut her off and said he didn't want to deal in the past. She got no where. She sent me a text message:

He is determined.

There was also a lot of calling between the members of the family discussing the whole situation.

As I walked out of the office, C called me. She didn't even say, "hi." She started with, "What is going on??!? Why has my brother gone crazy??!?" I wish I knew. BELIEVE me. I wish I knew...

C relayed to me all the conversations that she'd been a part of and the ones she knew about. I filled in the blanks as best I knew them. We eventually agreed that the budget discussion really freaked him out. The timing was just too coincidental.

We talked for almost the whole way home, which, since I live in the middle of no where, is a long effing way. One of her last pieces of advice, before I lost signal, was to yell at him. Her reasoning was that he thought it was ok with me for him to move back to TX. I sighed... I had explained so many times already that day that this wasn't about me. It was about what it was going to do to E. She got that, but she thought the point was lost on him.

So I walked in the door, and started putting my stuff away. E walked in the room and I hit him with, "I had a super shitty day today and it's all your fault!" His eyes were as big as silver dollars. He said, "What did I do?"

C is sometimes too smart for her own good.

We sat down at the table and I just started laying it out for him. All these people he's been putting up on a pedastal... had any of them returned his call? No. I asked him: if you needed someone to pick you up in the middle of the night, do you have any doubt that I'd be there? No. Who talked to you about college? You. Who took you on tours to see colleges? You. Did anyone else even offer to have you live with them? "Well, dad did, but I didn't return his call in time." Yeah, right. I didn't try to argue that point. I told him, "I need you to see things the way they ARE, not they way you WANT them to be."

Then he started crying. Then, "If I could get a gun, I'd kill myself right now." I opened my mouth to respond and he went running out the door. He's barefoot and it's 40 degrees outside. So I'm on the porch yelling, "Come back inside. I won't talk anymore." Pretty soon he ended up on the back porch. So I'm trying to talk through the door, "Do you want a jacket?" No. "Blanket?" NO. "Shoes?" NO!!! Then he came inside, which of course was my goal all along, and stomped down to his room, where he laid on the floor and covered his head with a blanket. So I sat on the stairs. "Are you hungry?" No! I waited a little while, still sitting on the stairs. "Well, I'm going to make me some raemen noodles. And I was thinking I could fix you some noodles too, if you'd like some. Do you want some noodles?" Ever-so-quietly I heard, "Yeeees." Ah, the magical power of noodles.

Here's what we settled on: he's going to take the bus to TX tomorrow and stay with his mom for a week. (CR finally called me back today and she insisted it not be less than a week. She said if it was too short of a visit it would be too easy for him to forget all the chaos.) He had wanted to take the car. I told him that wasn't going to happen. He was thinking he was going to sell his truck and give me the money from the truck and he would just take the car back to TX. Like a trade or something. Um, not just, "no", but HELL NO! I told him if he moved back I'd be selling the car so he better get used to using alternate forms of transportation (because the truck will not make it back to TX). He's really not wild about the bus idea, but as mom noted, he is determined.

I updated C today via text message and got a return text that said:

Nice. He will be begging to come back to you.
I think this will work.

Let's hope she's right.

The End is Near

Last Friday E informed me he wanted to go spend a week at his grandparents. I thought, "Great. Another week he's not going to look for a job." But instead of harping about the job, I decided that we needed to work on the "family budget" that night.

Over the course of the summer I have exhausted my savings and most of my available credit trying to keep him in meds, counselors, food, etc. So when my work offered a class on money management I decided to sign up. One of the first things they went over was creating a budget.

So E and I sat next to the whiteboard and started writing down categories. We made special categories for him and I that were for things ONLY related to us: cell phone, gas for our respective cars, etc. I was killing two birds with one stone. 1) He could see how much he was costing me each month; 2) He would have a working budget when he got a job. I tried to emphasize that sharing this information with him was not to make him feel bad. We just needed to make some decisions and since he lived there I thought he should be involved. I thought it was a very good discussion. Then we played a game of checkers and he kicked my ass.

Last night I had to pick up two of his meds. (I've got him down to 3 pills, btw. Well, he should also be taking something for his acne, so four if he ever gets to see a doctor again.) The lady says, "You know how expensive these are?" I figured they were just as expensive as his other meds, so I said, "Yeah, I know." Then she rang up the meds, "That will be 5 hundred..." WHAT??!? Turns out his new "SUPER expensive" med was $459 for a one month supply. Let me say that again: $459 for a ONE MONTH SUPPLY! (Anyone still confused about why healthcare is screwed up in this country?) I felt like someone sucked all the oxygen out of the room. The other med was "generic" but it still cost $50!

After this trauma I get home and E is... I couldn't come up with a word to describe it, but JL, my friend at worked hit the nail on the head when she said, "manic." He doesn't like living in the middle of no where. He doesn't like living in between the family in TX and the family in KS. He has no friends. He was feeling suicidal again. Something happened at church that he was very nebulous about. He didn't want to try another church because HE'S BAPTIST! He doesn't like his therapist because she's a woman and he can't really talk to her. Oh, and he's not sure he wants to be an auto mechanic anymore. That was almost as distressing as the suicidal comment. He had called and left messages with his dad, Big D, and his grandpa. No one had called him back. He was STRESSED!

And then to top it off, he got a letter from NTB. He had applied for a job there and the manager said he had the job, but he had to take the drug test. But the drug place was only open... whenever the hell they wanted to be open. It took him about a week and a half to finally catch them on a "open" day. They were closed every other day he called.

This letter was from the company that does the pre-screen for NTB. Basically they had flagged E as non-employable because they hadn't gotten his drug test results in 3 days. AND they ran a credit check on him!!!

I left a note for him to call me when he woke up. When he called, he said his heart was set on moving back to TX. I reminded him that he wasn't doing very well there. He wouldn't have his own room because they were in a smaller place. He just said, "Yeah, I don't know why I was like that back then."

He wants to sell his truck and give me the money. I think the whole budget discussion really freaked him out. Its just too coincidental.

If he goes back there all my hard work / money / time / effort / etc. is down the drain.

Car Care Tip from E

The last 2, or maybe 3 cars I've owned have had 2 trip meters. Generally we use one for the mileage between fillups. But the other I rarely use.

E has been changing my oil for a few months now, and he uses that 2nd trip meter to clock the mileage between oil changes.

I thought that was a great idea and decided to share it with all of you.

CR must be doing some sort of penance

The little guy started school this year. On his first day, mommy & daddy took him to school. Big D introduced himself to the principal and told him, "I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of each other." Queue foreboding music...

Starting the second day of school he was riding the bus. By the second week, he nearly got himself kicked off the bus. Why, you ask? For fighting... WITH A GIRL! When they asked him why he hit the girl D replied, "She had been annoying me ALL DAY!"

By the third week of school he was regularly bringing home red flags (the method de-jour of discipline at his school). Why, you ask again? BECAUSE HE FLASHED THE TEACHER! As in the FULL MONTY!

E was not an easy child to raise. He was "busy" every minute of every day, he had behavior issues, he fed his sister pills from the medicine cabinet telling her they were candy... He was a challenge to say the very least.

But then along comes D. I just gotta think that 2 kids like that in one lifetime either means you were a really bad person in one of your previous lives, or you're going to do something so bad that you've got to start doing penance NOW.

Whoops! I think I accidentally became a mom?!!

Last week my mother called me and opened the conversation thusly, "What is your sister up to?"

Wha...? Huh? "What on EARTH are you talking about?"

Turns out C had overheard... or, rather oversaw her mother while I was trying to give her an update on her SON, E. Which, my perception of the conversation was that she couldn't have cared less. So C told my mother that the conversation appeared very "serious." My mother naturally assumed...

Instead of answering my question, she asked, "Are you two fighting?"

Oh good grief! Either we're "up" to something, or we're fighting??! So I re-capped the conversation, along with my perception.

"Well, you have to understand her side... " Um, no I really don't. I was told to give her updates, then when I do, she gets her panties all in a bunch. WHATever.

Next on her agenda: *I* have to talk to S. She's not bonding with the baby. She's not taking her pre-natals. And she scared her sister to death when she said she was going to give up the baby.

And this is my problem, how???

I did call S later. Not because it was my problem, but because I wanted to find out the latest scoop with the boyfriend/baby daddy, DS. They've been on and off again all summer. Yep, turns out they're back on again. Plus, they're planning on moving in with some friend of DS's.

Me	What are you going to do about a job?
S	Nothing.
Me	Well how do you expect to pay rent?
S	I don't have to.
Me	Really? And how are you going to manage that?
S	Well, me and DS are sharing a bedroom and the rent is divided between the 4 bedrooms. So DS will pay the rent.

Had I been wearing a blood-pressure cuff, I'm sure it would have burst. But wait, it gets better.

Me	Are you taking your prenatals?
S	No.
Me	Why?
S	They taste ewey. But mom said I don't have to. She said I can take the chewables so at least I'm getting some vitamins.
Me	(1 or 2 decibels lower than "yelling") OMG! You want to be treated like an adult and move in with your boyfriend??!? Then ACT like it! Chewable vitamins are NOT the same as prenatals!

I think I may have burst a blood vessel during that part because what came rolling out my mouth next was clear indication of some sort of brain impairment.

Me	I heard a rumor.
S	Oh no. What kind of rumor?
Me	A rumor about you.
S	Oh great. What was it?
Me	That you are giving up the baby.
S	Where did you hear that?
Me	It doesn't matter. Is it true?
S	Yeah. I figured I don't like being around my 5 year old brother, why would I want a baby around?
Me	(brain overload... switching off now... please keep your pie-hole closed until brain regains function...) You've had a little brother now for, uh, 5 years. So when did you decide this?
S	Almost from the beginning.
Me	(WARNING! Brain is off! Do not say anything!) Would you consider letting me adopt it? (I told you NOT to say anything...)
S	Yeah. Me & DS have discussed it and already thought of that.
Me	So **IF** we do this, you realize there's no take-sies back-sies, right?
S	Yeah.
Me	And do not think that if this happens again that you can just call me up...
S	(laughing) I know.
Me	Ok, so until you are 100% sure, please don't say anything to anyone else in the family.
S	Ok.

That's all I need is for this decision to be made by committee. S tells C; C tells CR &/or my mother and pretty soon its all a big brawl...

So, my big mouth strikes again.

Of course the reality is that it might never happen. S has been so flaky since she got pregnant that who knows how she'll feel once she gives birth. Also, I think it will depend on her status with DS. If they're together, I'm about 90% sure she'll give it up because he doesn't want it. If not, it'll depend on how much whispering in her ear CR has done and probably a dozen other factors that I'm unaware of.

So there you have it. The baby's not due til late December... plenty of time for more drama.

Aaaaand another step back, no, wait, FORWARD!

At least 3 blog-able things have happened recently, but I've been so extraordinarily busy at work I just haven't had time to type them out. So I'm going to make a concerted effort to get you all caught up... before it becomes 4 things.

To continue on with my previous post of E taking things... One morning I had promised I'd leave money out for E to go run an errand for me. But of course, I'd forgotten by the time morning rolled around. Luckily E had gotten up before I left that day and reminded me. So I went to my bedroom and went to my dollar-bill hiding place, not to be confused with my state-quarter hiding place, and ... IT WAS EMPTY!

Oh, I was furious. I came flying out of the room, got in his faced and yelled stated emphatically, "My money is gone!"

Wide-eyed he looked at me and almost whispered, "I didn't take it."

Still emphatic, "REALLY?"

Unfortunately, all this happened right before I was supposed to walk out the door, so we didn't have time to finish the "discussion."

I was pissed all day. Dammit. There was almost $100 missing. Dammit.

I was still pissed when I walked in the door that night. He was laying on the floor in the living room watching TV. I said, "Is there anything you want to tell me before I tear my room apart looking for that money?"

"I didn't do anything wrong," he said.

I don't think the FBI could have done a better search of my room. And guess what? I found the damn money. As soon as I found it I sorta remembered having that argument with myself about whether or not to move it... and I apparently decided to move it. Also? It was much closer to $50 than $100.

Yumyumyum, yummy crow...

I sucked it up and admitted that I'd accused him when I shouldn't have and I apologized profusely. Then I decided to use that whole situation, even my accusal of him to talk about the real world implications. "So lets say you see a shiny new tool laying on the garage floor, and you think that would be a cool tool to have in your toolbox..." and how giving into that temptation could lead to loss of job, friends, freedom. It was a good talk ... for both of us.

As a reward for this new-found trust, I placed an "emergency $10" under the dish holding the state quarters. I told him about it and just asked that he talk to me before using it.