I'm done with the truck

After the ticket on Friday, I did some calling around and a windshield was going to cost at least $300. I feel like I am rebuilding this truck one stupid piece at a time and I'm done.

E is in KC this week, so I decided this would be a good time to get that 2nd vehicle. It'll be way cheaper in the long run. Then, when he gets back, we'll have the "job" talk and there won't be any excuses.

But guess what happened? E surprised me again. He is looking up businesses here on the internet while he's in KC to find a job. He even called the Ford dealership around here and talked to them and filled out an application online!

This is HUGE for him!

Aaaaaand they're back together

I called S last night to see how she was after Friday's conversation. Of course she was better, but I gotta say is was the most frustrating conversation... First, she thinks that I don't get that she's trying to manipulate me. Oh, I get it. But I'm just not going to argue about it til there's something to argue about. For example, CR wants S to get a job. S doesn't want to get a job so she's gets her boyfriend, DS to pay her phone bill. Which he did for a while, but then he wants her to get a job, too. All the while she's testing me to see if I say anything about a job. I already said it when we first talked about her moving in, "Rule #1: you WILL get a job. That is non-negotiable." She thinks maybe the rules have changed since she's pregnant. Nope, but I'm not going to discuss it when she's still living in TX. It's not my house, not my rules.

C had told me that since S & DS were broke up, S decided to go out with someone else... and not come home that night. I wanted to find out the scoop on that too. When I asked her about it, she was shocked that I knew about it. Like, I just put my head in the sand until she decided to grace me with the details of her life. Clearly she believes that. And then, when I told her I'd heard it from more than one person, that REALLY stumped her! (BTW, it was just to piss of DS.)

So I talked to S as I was leaving the office (had to come in and make up the time from E's doctor appointment). I stopped and got gas and we hung up shortly after that. About 40 minutes later, DS called me and told me they were back together.

I swear, keeping up with these two will give you whiplash.

I'll take that compliment, thankyouverymuch

Yesterday I was talking to C on the phone and she says, "E is being weird." My first thought, "Oh no. What now?"

Me	Weird? What do you mean?
C	He's like... caring
Me	And caring is weird?
C	Yes, for E it is.

Back-handed, tho it may be, I'll take that compliment.

This just in...

On Friday, after reminding him all week, E was supposed to mow the lawn. (In case you're wondering, yes, we had a "talk" about this. I simply told him that if he wanted to be treated like an adult, then it was time to act like an adult. And making me constantly get on him to mow the lawn was not cutting it, pardon the pun. I guess we'll find out when he gets back if that tactic worked.)

Wait. I'm a little ahead of myself. Earlier in the week, I made E go with me to pay my car taxes because I was going to ask exactly what things had to be fixed on his truck so that it would pass inspection. Guess what? Nothing. Not a damn thing has to be fixed. The only thing that's "inspected" is the VIN#; they're just checking for stolen vehicles. So, on Thursday night I promised E we would get his vehicle taken care of when he got back from KC. There was a little tickle in the back of my brain that said he'd reached the end of his lucky rope by driving around un-registered.

So Friday afternoon, I tried to call him to remind him to mow. No answer. So I sent him a text message. Later in the afternoon the skies got all black at work, so I was going to call and see what the weather was doing at home. Still no answer. I told JL, my friend at work, that he was just being a brat and not answering the phone because he thought I was going to ask about mowing.

Finally I got a call. He got a ticket. I fricken knew it was coming. Of course he waited until late in the afternoon to deal with the mowing. Then, he realized he needed gas. So he ran to the gas station in town, and the cop stopped him about a block before he got home. Not only that, but he called for backup, so apparently it made quite a scene. It was $100 fine. Plus, the cop noted the crack in his windshield and said he'd cite him for that if he didn't get it fixed. JL remarked, "He's just not having the best luck with the popo is he?" You said it, sister!

It was a very upsetting experience for him. Not only was he humiliated, but E's perception was that the "backup" cop was itching to ... I wish I could remember E's exact words, but the gist was that he wanted to rough E up a bit. Who knows if its true or not. E was still pretty shaken up when I got home.

So we got some food, which I knew would take his mind off of things. Then I broke the cardinal rule and took him to see the movie that I had promised only if he'd mowed, "Step-brothers" with Will Ferrell. I know, I know. It was mostly to assuage my guilt over the matter.

---

Ok, on to the real news item of this post: as we were pulling into the parking lot of the theater, S calls. I answer, "Talk quick" She's crying, "Have you sent that paper for DS?"

So many thoughts to deal with: Why is she crying? Do I lie and say I have? Do I admit to procrastinating? In the absence of no other information to work with, I told the truth.

"Good. Don't send it! DS and I have been broke up for about a week. He was supposed to come over tonight and then he called and said he didn't have enough gas. And I just found out he went to visit Bob [I don't actually remember the friend's name, but Bob will do for now] and that's just a half mile from my house... [big sob]"

Not be be rudundent, but I fricken knew it! "Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"

"No."

"Are you alone?"

"No. Sheila [again, I don't actually remember the friend's name, but Sheila will do for now] is here with me. I was going to come up to see Grandma & Grandpa this weekend, but they never have called me back."

E wanted to know what the call was about, so I gave him the reader's digest version. His response:

E	I think you should still send the letter.
Me	No. She specifically asked me not to, so I won't. Just try to imagine if it were you and your ex-girlfriend.
E	I did, and I still think you should send the letter.
Me	Why?
E	Because I've regretted decisions I made like that.
Me	Well, I can't teach her those lessons. She can only learn by the consequences of her actions... just like you did.

I think he still mumbled under his breath, "well you still should send the letter." Ok now people, is that just precious or what? Him being all protective of his little sis... Say it with me now, "Awwwwwwwww."

I had heard about this impromptu trip earlier. E told me that she called her grandma, K, and pretty much demanded that they come pick her up for a visit. But she also wanted them to bring her back to TX by Friday. Not knowing that she and DS were broken up, I had surmised that she wanted to be back in time to see him. Now I don't have a clue what the Friday deadline was all about.

E also told me that she didn't want to see her dad while she was in KS because she, "didn't want to hear about it." E was like, "Oh, she's gonna hear about it, wherever she stays." I wonder if she knew E was going to be there this week...

E was also miffed that she didn't want to see me while she was in KS. Again, awwwwww! I told him it was fine and that I wouldn't stand in the way of her seeing her grandparents just like I wouldn't do that to him... besides I would be seeing her plenty when she came here to live.

---

I am on MD duty this week. E said before he left, "Can I trust you to feed MD while I'm gone?" Well, let's see... you trust me to pay your phone bill, your car insurance, put food on the table, buy your bedroom furniture... yeah, I think I can handle that.

S update

I know I owe you an update on S. I've been meaning to type this up all week, but the days have quickly slipped away.

On last Sunday, I got a text from S that said:

You wont have to worry about me going to DS's house cuz im not aloud over there

Very ominous, eh? So I ask, "Did something happen?" And she replied:

I was only aloud over on weekends and his dad is always making him do stuff so he doesn't have time to get me. Maybe when his dad works late i can

Now, of course I didn't want her going over there, so, to me, this is really good news. But I can't just respond, "WHOOPEE!!" Well, I could, but then I wouldn't be the world's greatest aunt. TWGA^SM
So I respond, "That sux" To which she replies:

Yea but we have been having our own problems

Whaaaat?????? Trouble in paradise????

I try to talk her into coming early. She resists. And that's all I know about that.

Then, a few days ago, out of the blue I get a text message from her that says:

Im not riding in the truck

Huh??? What truck? When?

E's truck. He says you guys are bringing it down here

This is the first I've heard of it.

Well he sent D a message saying you guys were moving me in his truck

I cannot control what he does, but using his truck is not part of my plan.

I guess but im getting accused of having plans mom didn't know cuz D told her that

At least its not me that's in trouble again. If you've been reading for any period of time, you know I have plenty of reasons to be irked at CR. So this is a question to all you moms in the crowd: What is the big deal what vehicle is used? Or if they move on Monday instead of Friday? Or June instead of July. The destination hasn't changed. There weren't any big "going away" celebrations planned. Or any plans that had to be changed for that matter. CR getting her panties in a bunch at every twist and turn of the story is really getting under my skin.

Anyway, I offered to talk to her mom, but I never heard back.

Also, I talked to E that night. He didn't see that he'd done anything wrong because he was only trying to save me money. I know he has all the faith in the world in that truck, but I don't. I also told him that since S has changed her mind before I'm not making ANY plans until I know for sure she's coming. And even then I'm going to call her the morning of just to make sure she hasn't changed her mind... again.

My friend at work, JL, thinks that E is tuning in to me starting to stress about money. Maybe. I did have to restrict his thermostat privileges because I'd get home from work and the house would be at 70. I have ceiling fans in every room. Its plenty comfortable at 74... even when I'm having a hot flash.

So I told him he could save me money by mowing the lawn before he left for his dad's. But I'd be willing to bet he didn't get that done. His excuse this week is that he can't trim. Last week I begged him to trim. Then, when he did, the trimmer ran out of twine. I'm like, "you don't have to trim. Just mow!" So we'll see what happened today when I get home.

Next stop: poor house

I hate paperwork. Back when I was able to fill out a 1040-EZ, it would take me at least a couple weeks because every time I'd start reading the instructions my eyes would glaze over. If I filled in one box per night it felt like a major accomplishment.

After the $800 bill for E's medications, I knew I had to look at the social security paperwork. E dropped it on the table the first day at my house and I've been procrastinating about it ever since.

The notice that his benefits will stop was dated April 2008. They obtained information from the following people to make their determination:

• E's counselor
• His med doctor
• The school district
• His primary care doctor
• Some other PHD that did a "consultative exam"

Verbatim from the letter:

We were unable to obtain additional reports, however, we had enough information to determine this claim. We used information from others who know about your health. We have determined that your condition is not severe enough to keep you from working. We considered the medical and other information, your age, education, training, and work experience in determining how your condition affects your ability to work.

You said you are disabled because of a mood disorder, ADHD, learning disorder. However, your current symptoms are not severe enough to be considered disabling.

[Ed: then you should try dealing with him when he's OFF his meds!!!]

Although you said you have various limitations caused by your symptoms, the evidence does not show that your ability to perform basic work activities is as limited as you indicated. Although some kinds of work are not possible, your condition allows other less demanding work. This conclusion takes into consideration your age and education. If your condition gets worse and keeps you from working, write, call or visit any Social Security office about filing another application.

Therefore, I don't think Social Security is going to be an option. Maybe after he's been to this counselor a few more times she'd be willing to write a letter on his behalf.

Talked to someone at the counselor's office and he gave me a form direct from the drug company. Like the Montel Williams commercials: "If you can't afford your meds, call us. We can help." Well... they can help as long as you don't make too much money. And, it's only for one of his medications.

They also suggested checking out HealthWave, which is like Medicaid, just a fancier name. Their website says that all members of the household must be listed on the eligibility form. Crap. Crapcrapcrap.

Then, I found a link to a site for people that don't qualify for other insurance. First, there's the monthly premium ($1,500 deductible = $217.51; girls for the same age are $554.20!). Then, "prescriptions are subject to the calendar year deductible, then reimbursed at 50% until the out of pocket expense is met... " And in the margin, "... Coverage will be based on the cost of a generic drug, if available. If not available ... coverage will be based on the usual and customary charge of the prescription." [Ed: I did the italics, it was not on the actual form.] What the hell does that mean, "usual and customary"??? I'm pretty sure this "plan" is going to cost me way more in the long run.

Next option: Rx discount card. They had a price lookup on their site. So I picked one of his meds. The monthly supply is $433.35! And that, my friends, is how you get an $800 pharmacy bill. So much for "discount."

I thought about checking into the Canadian pharmacies, but really he needs insurance. Something that will cover him if he breaks/spraine's/cuts/crushes an extremity while working on the car, or whatever.

Today I thought: this is bullshit. So I called the HealthWave people.

I explained that I was calling for my nephew and the lady that answered the call... let's call her, "Marge", said, "How old is your nephew?"

Me	18.
Marge	Is this a specfic question or a general question?
Me	Ummmmm
Marge	Because if it's a specific question, then I'm going to have to have a signed waiver before I can answer it.
Me	Oh, then it's a general question. (Friggin' HIPPA)

Then I had to phrase every question hypothetically: Let's say that I have an 18 year old nephew who moved to KS from TX. And let's say... blahblahblah.

Marge said that I had to list my name & SSN on the form because I lived in the household, but that they wouldn't use my income in determining E's eligibility. If they're not using my income, how's come they need my SSN? Color me skeptical...

---

In other news, E is leaving this weekend to go visit his paternal family again. When I asked when he was coming back he was very sketchy, "Maybe a week. Maybe two."

Argh. Here we go again. I know, I know: he didn't last two weeks last time, why do I think he'll stay that long this time? Ummmmmmmm.. I dunno. Maybe because E puts his dad on such a pedestal.

He mentioned the other night that his dad had told him he would give him a job whenever. And E has now decided that he's going to take him up on that offer, "until I start school."

I told him, "Look, the only reason we waited on school was so that you could feel settled. If you go to KC and work with your dad, you're not going to be settled here." I think he's just anxious about finding a job, since I've mentioned it a few times lately. (I haven't pushed; just nudged.)

But his dad being a wolf in sheep's clothing doesn't help. Thinking about it makes me anxious. So much so that my body has picked up on the signals. This is so weird: when I get stressed out my eyelashes fall out. Usually it's just the lower lid... and usually just the left eye. But still.

What was I thinking?

Saturday rolled around this past weekend and I gotta tell ya, I was completely exhausted for some reason. So when E wanted to go to AutoZone, the thought of showering and getting dressed almost overwhelmed me.

We had rented some movies the night before and they were due back the next day, so first I talked him into watching a movie. After the movie he was even more ready to go. Me? Eh, not so much.

And that's when I heard the words rolling out of my mouth. Believe me, I was as surprised as you're going to be. "Why don't you just take my car?" And the little devil on my right shoulder said, "Yeah! Great idea!"

While the angel on my left shoulder was nearly asleep for her afternoon nap... except for a few words she mumbled as if already dreaming, "cellphone... GPS... " she said.

E didn't waste any time. He brought his GPS in and plugged in the address. "Call me!" the angel yelled as she flopped on to her other side. And then he was gone.

45 minutes later I was trying to muster the energy to do the math in my head, "10 minutes there... 10 minutes back... 10 minutes in the store, maybe... " I smacked the angel awake, "What were you thinkin'??!?"

Somewhere in the debate of how long we were going to wait before calling the police, he walked in the front door.

Nothing happened. Just his cellphone battery had died.

And then I took my official afternoon nap.

This may be funny some day...

At this point in the story, E had been without his meds for ... um, 2 days I think. He was running at about 100mph: simultaneously working on the basement, fixing his truck, re-organizing the garage... is there a word stronger than multitasking? If there is, that's what he was doing.

One of [the many] symptoms E's meds help him with is impulse control. For example, the first night w/o his meds, he was messing around with, er, 'scuse me, "working" on his truck. Some neighborhood girls were walking up and down the street and he yelled at them, "HEY!" And he turned to me and said, "I'm not as shy w/o my meds."

After the first "HEY!" he really started paying attention to the girls. He told me he thought they were cute at dinner the next night. After dinner, I went to find him to let him know he needed to take out the trash. I found him at the neighbor's across the street. He was discussing some car issue with the guy and petting his dog. I wandered over and said hi and told him to come find me when he was done there. While I was there, the girls walked by. E didn't say anything, he just nudged me.

This was the first time I'd seen the girls up-close and in daylight. I'd guess them to be around 15-ish. When the neighbor went inside to get a tool, I said to E, "They look kinda young for you. You should find out how old they are."

I see now that was my mistake. I take full responsibility. I told him what to do, but I didn't tell him how to do it.

So the next day, the girls were walking by and E yells, "Hey! How old are you?"

Keep in mind, all his yelling is from the safety of the garage.

Now, skip forward to the next week. E is back on his meds. I get home from work and E is downstairs. He is pissed off. I thought he was going to throw the hard drive he had in his hand at me when I said hello.

It wasn't me he was upset with. It seems our local policeman stops by to pay E a visit. Apparently the parents of the girls didn't care for him yelling at the girls. So they called the cops on him!

I was furious. He was in the effing garage! He didn't yell anything lewd or suggestive; just, "HEY!" When did parents stop talking to each other?

The cop also accused E of doing drugs because his pupils weren't dialating properly. E just layed it out for him, "Look: I'm bi-polar and I have ADHD. I've just taken my meds and I'm also tired because I didn't get much sleep last night."

On the one hand I'm proud of him for being secure enough to say all that to the cop. On the other hand my heart just broke because he had to say it. So much for small town living, eh? This kid just cannot catch a break!

E took it better than I did. As we were eating dinner that night, me thinking he was still as pissed as he was when I walked in the door, said, "Are you going to church this week?" Yes. "Well, maybe you could talk to your minister about this."

And then he blew me away with, "No. I'm not going to talk to anyone about it because I didn't do anything wrong. And if I talk to people and make a big deal about it, it makes me look guilty. And I'm not."

I've come to expect this sort of wisdom from C. But from E? I think we were on different pages as to why I suggested he talk to his minister, but still. It was a pretty mature take on the situation for him.

The next day, I was still pissed. So much so I was ready to move. I brought home a real estate guide from the grocery store. I've really tried hard to stick it out in this house because I really do love the house (and my house went down in value this year, so I don't want to lose my shirt by moving), but this was just too much.

E saw the real estate guide and says, "Are we moving?"

Me:	Yes. I've had it.
E:	Why?
Me:	You really need reasons?
E:	Is this because of the cop?
Me:	Yes, among other things.
E:	What else?
Me:	Ok... I have to drive 45 minutes to work, and I hate the drive more every day. Plus, with the cost of gas it's really expensive. I have to drive past my ex's house every day [Readers: I live on a culdesac and there's only one way out: past the ex's house.] My stupid neighbors calling the cops on you.
E:	That it?
Me:	Yes.
E:	I don't think you should move.

Yep, he actually talked me out of it. He made some jokes about not wanting to pack, but really, he just didn't want to move. So, at his request, I recycled the real estate section. (The recycling was my idea.)

But the story doesn't end there. The next day the girls came down and apologized to E for their parents' calling the cops.

He's over it now. The first few times I got on him to mow his excuse was, "But what if the neighbors see me out in the yard? I can't mow because I don't want the cops called on me again."

And, I gotta tell ya', the whole thing upset me so much I actually let that excuse slide... once. After that I told him I'd bail him out of jail if he actually got arrested for mowing the lawn.

Just mow the frickin' lawn, please!!!

On Tuesday of this week, I had mentioned to my friend at work, DD, that if my nephew had not mowed the lawn when I got home I was going to have a fit.

Guess what? Nope, the lawn wasn't mowed. E was asleep on the couch when I got home. So I kicked my shoes off and changed clothes and counted to 10... a couple of times and then I woke him up.

Me: How come the lawn isn't mowed?
E: I don't feel good. I have a headache.

That's it? You have a headache???

At first we thought the headaches were from his body trying to re-adjust to his medication. But no, turns out he just hadn't had any caffeine in over a week. But of course I didn't know that on Tuesday night.

Now you have to understand that this wasn't the first time I'd asked him to mow. We'd been going round and round over this for over a week at this point. His main objection? He didn't like my trimmer. Tough. Get over it.

The next night... well, something happened that's beyond the scope of this post. I was very upset about it at first, but I'm about ready to type about it. Maybe that will be my next post.

Then the next night I come in and he's downstairs. So I take my lunch box to the kitchen and notice that he's done lots of work in there. But... yep, you guessed it. The lawn still wasn't mowed.

So I counted to 10. And I counted to 10 again. One more time. By now, he was in the living room watching TV. So I went over and sat next to him and calmly said, "I can tell you did some work on the kitchen today. I just want you to know that I see that you're putting in an effort around here and I appreciate all the work you've done. Thank you."

That baffled him. He looked slightly bewildered and just said, "Ok," like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And then about an hour later I strongly suggested he get the mowing done.

I ordered some of his furniture last night. Here's the link to his desk. And here's the link to his bed. No mattress yet, tho. As far as I'm concerned he can sleep on the floor til the stupid lawn is mowed. (Well, not actually on the floor... he has an air mattress.)

Bonus for me: I'm fairly certain the desk is too big for the room as it's arranged now. His dad gave him this big-ass stereo cabinet that is just oozing bad karma. It's like a shrine, I tell ya. I'm betting the stereo cabinet gets much less prominent billing once the desk arrives.

---

In other news, little d's birthday was this week. The night before his bday I told E to remember that he had to call his brother the next day. Then, I called him later in the day to remind him. And he hung up on me! Oh, no he didn't!

That night, after supper, I [calmly] asked him why he hung up on me. He said, getting angry, "I just didn't want to deal with it. I'd try to call twice and nobody answered and I just didn't want to hear about it anymore."

"Well, I don't appreciate it when you do that. It's disrespectful to me. And I believe I've been more than respectful of you by doing lots of nice things for you." He just said, "ok." So I had no idea if he heard me or not. I mean, heard me.

So, today, he called during the day to ask a question. After I'd answered it, I asked the dreaded question, "did you mow?"

E:	No.
Me:	Why?
E:	It was raining.
Me:	Is it still raining?
E:	No. Yes. I don't know!
Me:	Well...
E:	Bye
Me:	Huh?
E:	BYE
Me:	Wha...
E:	BYE!!!

Finally I got it. He was trying to end the conversation without hanging up on me.

Ok, it needs work, I'll give you that. But it's a step in the right direction!

I'm kinda scared right now

On the way home last night I was checking my messages (yes, I know it's a bad habit, but it's a looong drive) and I'd gotten a text message from S (from DS' phone, of course):

Im kinda scared right now

Scared??? Why? Is someone hurting you? Are you in danger? Why are you texting me and not calling 911???

Frantically, I called DS' phone, trying to reach her. No luck. So I left a message for him to have her call me if she was at his place.

Then, I called C's phone. She didn't pick up either.

So now I'm left to stew while I wait on return calls. I'm sure you've been there before; nothing but the worst possible scenarios go through your mind.

Finally C calls. She is Chatty Kathy. They've been celebrating little d's birthday (even though it's not actually the day) which is why she didn't answer her phone. "Oh, BTW, S has her own phone again. Grandma bought it for her." I took that to mean, "Don't use me as her answering service anymore." In my defense, the message I left her began, "I'm really sorry to have to leave this message with you..."

Actually, I found out later that Grandma didn't buy her a new phone. She got her a replacement of the same model she used to have. So I'm still at the top of the phone heap.

I call S. She is also at the house, celebrating the birthday. So I can cross all the scenarios off the list that had her in some sort of physical danger.

Turns out that she's scared for DS. His dad has graduated from weed and pills to cocaine. She's scared that if DS continues to live there he will turn out just like his dad. So I asked about them going to live with his mom. She said they're thinking about it, depending on what happens at his hearing in August. But today she's less than thrilled with that solution because his mom is so undependable. Ah, yes! That succinctly describes what I have surmised over the years.

I tried to emphasize time and again that I was very concerned for her well-being at DS' house. She kept saying, "yeah" like she understood, but I just didn't get the feeling that we were on the same page. So finally I pulled out the Ace and layed it on the table, "Look, this is not just about you," I told her. "You have got to be thinking of your baby. That is your biggest responsibility right now." "[quietly] I know." Ok, NOW we're on the same page.

Then we talked about life with an addict.

OH! I forgot to mention: my loser-brother went into treatment! I think his social worker nudged him into it. He was supposed to go weeks ago, but he has a lot of nerve damage from his diabetes, and had to have some tests run. I hope he sticks with it, but let's just say that my hopes aren't too high.


JL's comments from my last post were appropo. Reeling S in is going to take some work. And there are a lot more pro's than cons (no pun intended) to sending the letter.

In other news, E had his first appointment with the counselor today. He looked like a walking zombie. For some reason he couldn't sleep last night, so he had about 2 hours sleep. Plus his meds make him a little groggy. Apparently he could barely keep his eyes open while talking to the counselor.

She suggested weekly meetings, at least for a little while. That's when I discovered that he was planning a trip to his dad's at the beginning of August, for about a week. His grandparents have talked him out of taking the truck... which I don't know if that's good or bad. It just is, I guess. He had mentioned he was going to his dad's, but I thought it was just for the weekend. Great. Now I have a knot in my stomach.

Best Ice Cream EVER!

If you're having a craving, look for Bryer's Chocolate Cookies & Cream. It's heaven on earth!

But you need to scope it out in advance. I've only seen it at ONE Dillon's store in my area.

Moral Dilema #312929193848583

I just want everyone to know I am substituting this blog for therapy. In case you hadn't figured it out... I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page.


This may feel very disjointed, but just try to go with it. I might be catching E's ADHD.


C called me today. I think she's only called once since she left KS, so it was good to hear from her. Sometimes when she calls she has nothing to say, she's just bored. So I hear about the wind, and the cats, and oh, an ant just crawled across the porch. But today she seemed to have an agenda.

First on the list, she hurt her leg. She had gotten up very early (before CR got home, which is at about oh-dark-thirty in the AM) to go bike riding with her friend who lives down the street. (I'm trying not to focus on the things I cannot control, so let's not zoom in on 2 teenage girls, riding around in the country, at that scary hour of the morning, and no adults within shouting distance... lalalalalalalalala) They go down a steep hill, skid, and C bangs up her leg pretty bad. Road rash for sure, plus some pretty deep cuts. C is hoping it will be healed in time for flag camp which is at the beginning of Aug.

When she gets home, she shows the leg to CR. Now, remember she and D are sharing the truck. CR says, "Why didn't you call me? I could have taken you to the hospital." But alas, with no other vehicle, there was no hospital visit in the cards as D had already left for work. CR tried to make a homemade butterfly on the severe cuts. It'll probably be fine, but what if it wasn't?

Next on the list: her neighbors have informed her that there are cobras, anacondas, water moccasins and MOUNTAIN LIONS that inhabit the area! Those, in addition to the SCORPIONS (that they've found in the house!)... and no way to get to the hospital.


Finally, she asks if I've talked to S lately. Which, no I haven't. But in my defense it is hard to get a hold of her since she doesn't have a phone, and you never know what house she's sleeping at. Oh, that was another tidbit C wanted to share. Apparently S's paternal grandmother, K, is going to buy her a new phone. Yeahyeahyeah, ok, I probably would have bought her a phone if I wasn't so tied up with E, but it would have been a crappy phone. I'm sure K will buy the best that Sprint has to offer. (Which means, of course, that I have to buy a new phone else my position at the top of the phone chain will be usurped by a teenager!? Nu-uh.)

C also told me that she told S that I was "poor" now (tho, she didn't know about the gold-plated pills, so she didn't realize exactly how poor) and that I would be really poor after buying E's bedroom furniture. S's response? "Oh well, she'll just work a bunch of overtime and then she can buy my bedroom furniture." 'Scuse me?

But C was just bubbling over to tell me that S and the baby-daddy, DS, have come up with a "plan B." If DS does not get his probation dismissed in August, meaning he won't be able to leave the state, he and S are going to go live with his mother in ... I can't remember the town, but somewhere else in TX. S is really fond of this idea because DS's mom has not mentioned that she will have to get a job.

The letter of support I'm supposed to write to his probation officer is actually the subject of my moral dilemma. Through various conversations I have put 2 and 2 together and surmised that he's doing drugs again. So, do I send the letter in or not?

If I send the letter in and they actually run a drug test (which they have yet to do, but which he most likely fail), does that have any implications on me... besides making me look clueless?

OTOH, what if I don't send the letter? There's less of a chance he'll get off probation... which means he'll continue to party with his friends, they'll move in with his mother, and S will continue to shirk her responsibility ... aaaaaand the cycle I've been trying to prevent starts all over again.

But now there's that whole blatant attitude of entitlement that S has. Maybe its too late. Maybe the cycle has already begun.

For the record, I'd never planned to buy her new bedroom furniture. I have an old set of mine in her intended bedroom and that will be fine. I did, however, commit to buying a bed since hers was given to little d, I believe.

Regardless... I'm embarrassed for her that she's acting like a spoiled brat. E doesn't have a job yet, but he is trying to pull his weight. I have no doubt that S would be sitting on the couch (eating bon-bons, if there were any in the house) all day watching TV.

I know nothing of DS's mother. Wait, I do know something. I know that in all the time he has been going out with S... having a terrible time at home with his own family drama, she has never come to town. Not once. And I'm sure I don't know all the times he was having problems with his father, but the ones I know about scream for a little support.

So that's all I really know. Granted, it's not a great impression, but does that mean it would be a bad choice? Dunno. I am very worried about not making S get a job. How do you teach responsibility without giving it? What happens after the baby comes? Will she make sure S is taking care of it? Will she just hire a nanny? Or will she let it scream in its crib for hours on end?

I don't know the answer to most of those questions, but I just talked myself into sending the letter.

Are those GOLD-PLATED pills?

Friday night when I got home, E was in rare form. He'd been without his meds for 3 days and was fluttering around like a bee. He had his truck torn apart in the garage and was just generally pissed off at the world. It's amazing he had that much energy because he'd also been throwing up for three days (withdrawal, I'm guessing), so he'd stopped eating.

We were going to go shopping on Saturday for bedroom furniture and take my car into the shop for an oil change and have them check the brakes, but I told him the #1 priority is getting his meds. First we went to the urgent care at the hospital nearby for the world's most expensive prescriptions. Then, a visit to Walmart and $800 later (that wasn't even all his meds -- just the ones he was out of), he's medicated again.

My mother called later in the day, just to chat. She asked what we were up to and I told her that I was so mad I could scream. Once I had the whole story out, she said, "Well, she's mad about stuff too." It took every ounce of control I had not to yell back, "What the F does [CR] have to be mad about?" I took a breath and realized it doesn't even matter. The fact remains that she didn't mail the meds and E was suffering because of it. And if I've done nothing else in my life, its been to allievate the kids' sufferring because of CR's actions/decisions/whatever.

The lady at Walmart almost appologized as she read the total. I knew it was going to be high, but I really hadn't expected it to be that high. I think I had a small seizure... and I have a tick in my eye that still won't go away.

I have to say that E was very cute. After we got the meds, he said, "Let's go to automotive because I can change the oil in your car. You don't have to pay Toyota to do it. I can check your brakes, too."

Due to my trauma at Walmart, I had to stop at DQ. (I didn't want to, I had to.) While in line, I get a call. The caller-id says it's E's grandma, K. So I just hand the phone to him. He talks to her for a couple of minutes and hands the phone to me, "She really wanted to talk to you," he says.

She had many questions about S's phone (that she'd busted after the Walmart parking lot fight). I really didn't have a lot of info, so I kept directing her back to S. Then, she just offered me money out of the blue! I have no idea what the look on my face was because my head was going, "$800 please!" She said she knew E's meds were expensive and that she appreciated what I was doing and just wanted to offer assistance.

The thing is, there's no such thing as free money. In the past, J has always been against E taking meds, so his whole family supported that by not giving E his meds when he was younger. And now she's offering to help pay for them? It just feels like there's a catch. So I thanked her politely and told her I'd let her know.

After we got home, E worked on my car the rest of the afternoon. After the oil change, one by one, he took off each tire and inspected the brakes (which I thought were fine from the start, but he thought they should be checked because of the mileage... and now we both know I was right). Then he took my car to the carwash and scrubbed all the bugs off. He rubbed out the scratch that I got from the mysterious flying ice. Now you really have to know that it's there to see it. I wish I could have talked him into cleaning the spot on my front seat... it's actually french silk pie blizzard from DQ, but when people have to ride in my car, nobody wants to touch it because it looks like poop. Oh well, I guess you can't have everything. (And George Carlin would add, "Where would you put it?")

I cooked him my infamous ugly chicken, so named because of the way it looks, and some mash potatoes. He had a pretty satisfied look on his face after dinner. Today, unfortunately, he has a headache because his body is trying to re-adjust to the meds. But he's over at my friend JL's house earning some money by doing yard work. (It helps him to keep busy and not think about the side effects.)

Top of the list this next week is getting his social security disability checks straightened out.

Let's talk about that thing that you don't wanna talk about

I had to go to Walmart the other night because we were out of milk and sugar and pop tarts -- you know, the necessities. And I was over in the medicine section because E was not feeling well. As I'm trolling the aisles, I see the condoms.

E has been talking an awful lot lately about meeting girls. One night he announced he was going to look for a church to go to. I'm sure my jaw hit the floor. "I... I ... I thought you didn't ... do church?"

"I didn't," he replied. "But I thought I should start going."
Great! Glad to hear it!
"I think I've found the church I want to go to."
Really? Which one?

He then described the church I'd taken he and S to to drive around the parking lot. It's waaay out in the middle of nowhere. But I'm fairly certain it's also a Mennonite church. Nothing against the Mennonites! But if you're going to go from 0 to 60 in 1.2 seconds, you might bump your head.

I suggested some of the churches in town.
"No. I'm going to that church!"
Ok, ok! But don't be afraid to try other churches if that one doesn't feel right.

And the subject was summarily dismissed. Then Wednesday night rolls around and he headed off to church. Either they didn't have a Wednesday evening service, or the church was closed down. Although, it's hard to imagine a closed church in a small town.

Anyway, come to find out that when he did some work for my friend JL, he asked her where to meet girls and she suggested church. At least it was all making sense now.

This week he went to "youth group" on Wednesday night at the Baptist church. Since he's 18 I was a little concerned that he'd be too old for the group. Back in the day, "youth group" meant junior high and high school. He said there was a guy who was 20 there, so he didn't ask any other questions after that. I knew he went because I could smell the Axe about a block down the street. Call me crazy but I don't think its religion that's motivating his new interest in church.

Anywhooo, back to the condoms. I stood there staring at them, wondering if anyone had had "the talk" with him? If they had, did they talk about condoms? Did they explain how to use them? After a long debate with myself, I decided to buy a small box. Better safe than sorry, eh? (I would have loved to have seen myself having that debate... I'm sure anyone passing probably thought I was trying to decide on "ribbed for my pleasure" vs. glow-in-the-dark.)

When I got home, he was very chatty about church, not girls as I had anticipated. He helped me carry in the groceries as we talked. Finally we ended up on the couch talking. When there was a lull in the conversation, I decided just to jump in to the deep end of the pool. (I had a shrink once who told me this was very rarely the best strategy...)

Two questions in he started with, "I'm really uncomfortable with this conversation." I held a magazine up in front of my face, "Here. Does this help?" By the way he snorted, I'm gonna say that was a big NO. Bottom line, yes, his dad had "the talk" with him. Yes, they talked about condoms and how to use them. (Well, at least I hope they did... by that point in the conversation I think he would have said anything to shut me up.)

So I gave him the box and told him to be sure to check the expiration dates before he used them. He didn't want the box. I told him just to keep it somewhere in his room. He said, "If some girl sees that box in my room then she'll never have sex with me!" Oh, wait. I didn't mean to imply that you could have sex in this house. Nononononono. Go do it in the car like every other teenager. I'm not that cool. So I told him I'd put the box in the hall cabinet so he'd know where it was just in case. "And if you run out," I told him, "just text me..." he had his face buried in the magazine now, slightly whimpering. "And tell me you're out of those things that you don't like to talk about, and I'll know what that means."

"No," he looked up from the magazine, "I'll go get them myself."
Really? Because kids your age get embarrassed about those things...
"My face will be red the entire time, I'm sure, but I'll go get them."
Ok, just think of me as your "plan B" then.

He just got up, shaking his head, and went to his room.

All things considered, I think it went really well.

Oh, BTW, the van got repossessed

I have the worst headache today. No, I did not make it to the pharmacy in time last night.

Today I made E get up early (which he really complained about, "TWO days in a row??!?") so we could go wait in line at the free clinic. He is out of at least 2 of his meds. I texted CR yesterday to inform her of this since she has refills of all his med, and has had them for at least a couple weeks. So I asked if she had sent them yet and she replied:

No. No car during day or sleep. Will tomorrow if he's home early enough.

Oh, I think I forgot to mention, her van got repossessed about... maybe, a week or so ago. Supposedly the gas prices got the better of them. (Keep reading before you call me a heartless bitch. I may be, but at least finish the story before you decide.) But she had the meds long before that happened.

So her work has taken pity on her and is letting her come in a couple hours early so she can leave a couple hours early so she can have D's truck home in time for him to go to work. But she has no vehicle during the day. Hence she has to wait for D to get home in the evening.

Here's what pisses me off about the van:
#1) D owns a motorcycle that gets 500 miles (or whatever) to the gallon. Seems like him driving that instead of his truck would save a buck or two. Or, here's another thought: sell the motorcycle! No maintenance, no upkeep, no insurance... seems like that might save a buck or two as well.
#2) They have a friggin time share! I'm sorry, kids. In lean times you make hard decisions, like SELL THE ^&*$#*!@#~ TIME SHARE!
#3) *I* had to tell E. He was quiet for a while then he started asking questions, then he was pissed. (This job does not pay enough...)

Supposedly D has started working on the old van (that was towed to the new place) that stopped running because CR drove it through a "puddle" that flodded the engine and God only knows what else. E is upset [partially] because he'd been trying to get D to work on the old van for months. But D wouldn't let E work on it because he didn't think he had the skills. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. But it was sitting in the back yard becoming a wild life refuge. And for all I know it still is. D only works on D's timeline.

So we go to this place this morning. But it's not the right place. "Is this his first appointment?" Yes, just like I told the lady I talked to on the phone... just like E told the lady that he talked to. "Oh, well, you have to go across the street and down 2 buildings." Nice. It's first come, first served, so minutes count.

At the new building, they give us paperwork, which E hates to fill out. I'm looking over his shoulder, but I still make him fill it out. It's several pages, so it takes a good 30-45 minutes or so. I hand the paperwork in and the lady says, "What county do you live in?" E's handwriting is like that of a 2nd grader, so I tell her. "Oh, well, we don't service that county. You need to go to this OTHER place..." as she gets out the directions to the other place.

Are you frickin' kidding me??!? Nobody thought to say this during any of the previous conversations??! Are we the FIRST people that this has happened to??? AAARRRGGGH.

By now it's started raining. Which makes my sinuses hurt. And the headache I woke up with was getting worse. I have an hour to get E back home and get to work, which I can barely make...

Fuck this. I go to the pharmacy to get MY meds. Can't take 'em til tonight, but at least I'll have them.

On the way home I suggest to E that we just wait til January for him to start school to give him more time to get settled. He nods his head in vigorous agreement. (The job at my company did not pan out. Funny how there's always jobs for everyone else's kid, but everytime I ask there's nothing available...)

Within 12 miles of home someone has decided to haul a shed/barn/huge-ass building. It's wider than 2 lanes. The cars in front of it are having to pull off the road to side streets (is it still a street if its a dirt road?), while those of us behind get to drive 2mph for about 20 feet then stop for 5 minutes; 2mph for about 20 feet, then stop for 5 min... It took me an hour and a half to make it back, which I didn't think was bad under the circumstances.

My friend JL said she had some yard work for E. So I texted him to see if he'd be interested. He's upstairs working on his car, and he's downstairs working on the pile of computers that he's supposed to be preparing for ebay:

U know it. Hey im kinda busy puing the truck back togather. The fedora did the same thing. Btw im crazy i'm talking to my self. Ask J when

Yeah, he's running at about 100mph. Yesterday I got home and he announced he'd figured out he can get into the attic if he backs his truck into the garage and puts the 6' ladder I have into the bed of the truck. I'm like, "Please don't do that when I'm not here!" He says, "Why? The garage door was open. People could see if I fell. Besides, one lady came up to me and told me it was a really creative solution!"

I feel like I should hang a sign on the door that says, "Please do not feed or encourage the monkey!"

Pregnancy causes brain farts

So last night, I get a text from S that says:

Next chance you get im ready to leave now

I want you to picture the cartoon character whose face slowly gets red, then blasts steam out both ears. That was me. I was yelling at the screen, "WTF, S???? Didn't we just have this conversation 2 days ago??!?" But of course I just sent a message that calmly reminded her that I didn't have another 3 day weekend until labor day, which isn't til Sept.

Yea that's fine

She replied. Today, at work, J tried to tell me that pregnancy causes brain farts. I guess I'll have to take her word for that. Although I'm 100% sure it causes everyone around the pregnant woman to go bat-shit crazy.

In other news, E and I toured the community college. About these tours, let me just say: I feel very old.

I think E was able to relate to the vo-tech advisor. Also, the size was not as overwhelming and that made him feel a little better. However, the program is almost full. They have 28 spots available and only 3 seats left. So I told E he needed to decide: do we tour the other school and take the chance that this semester fills up at the CC, or sign up now? He said he wanted the other tour. Later he told me that if he had to wait til January to start classes that would be just fine with him.

There's been so many other things going on that I've forgotten how bad he is with change. Yes, I know: everyone is bad with change... but it's particularly hard on him. So I'm thinking we'll just change the plan to have him start school in January, regardless. I'll have to discuss that with him tonight to see how he feels about it, but I think he'll like it. I also inquired about a job for him at the warehouse at my company. Man, it would be nice if that would come through. It would let him make some money and take the pressure off getting his truck fixed.

I must cut this entry short because I just remembered that I have an Rx to pick up. It's my TMJ medicine that I ran out of and haven't had for several days.

Furniture shopping

All week I had been promising E that we would go shopping for bedroom furniture on Friday. Yes, I realize it was a holiday, but since when do retail chains pay attention to holidays... especially in a sluggish economy?

Apparently the rules are different in my po-dunk little neck of the woods. Many of the furniture, and other retail stores were either closed, or closed early. Seriously? Do you need to close at 3pm? The fireworks don't even start until 9. Sheesh.

As usual, E was driving. I was navigating. (Which, if you know me and my sense of direction, or lack thereof, you know what a scary proposition that is.) So I was taking the opportunity to try and teach him about highway signs and how they're labeled, etc. Its possible I was trying to teach him other things as well... once I get in teaching mode, its sometimes hard to turn me off. (I know, you're probably shocked by this.)


So we're looking through the furniture places and this is what he takes a picture of:

Not furniture, but the ceramic accessories.

So we're driving along and suddenly we hear a THUD! E pulls over immediately, while I am trying very hard to go into denial. Once in an empty parking lot, the scrape along the door is obvious. Equally obvious is the water dripping from it. We had passed a truck just before whatever-it-was hit us. Either there were kids laying down in the bed of the truck and one threw a water balloon (possible, but not likely), or something flew out of the bed of the truck. E thinks it was ice. It was a shitty truck. I suppose there could have been an open cooler in the back. Either way: crapcrapcrap!

Later, my navigation skills helped us miss our target, so I instructed E to find a place to turn around. We were on a four-lane road. Suddenly I hear screeching tires and honking horns and I realize that E did not look before he tried to change lanes from the right lane to the left. The horns scare him and he instinctively tries to go back to the right lane, again not looking. More horn honking. There was a lot of things I wanted to scream, but I didn't. I calmly just told him to stop so the offended drivers could pass. Still calm, I told him to check and make sure the way was clear and pull off to a side street on the right.

I thought we had checked the "look before you change lanes" box, but obviously I was mistaken. Once we were on the side street, I was like, "You have GOT to look before you change lanes." And he just started yelling... that I had been cramming his head full of useless crap (the highway signs -- 3 or so hours earlier), blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, I took over the driving.

I happened to see another furniture store and pulled in the parking lot. Oddly, they were still open so I asked E if he wanted to go in. "I don't give a shit." Alrighty then. I went in. He's a big boy, he could either sit in the hot car by himself, or he could come inside where it was cool. He was right behind me by the time I walked through the door. While we did see some furniture he sorta liked (at prices that made me think they bought the stuff from the technical institute), he found a massaging chair. I just walked around the store and let him get acquainted with the magical chair. Holy crap, you guys, he was in SUCH a better mood after about 5 minutes! I wonder if they'll kick us out if we keep going back about once a week?

Post massage, we found this sculpture of a guy taking a crap on someone's desk.

Yes, of course I get it. But he was in such a better mood and we thought the sculpture said, "Whoops! I just took a crap on your lawn!" Ok, so we're 5.

Next stop, Sears. Been thinking about buying a new fridge. He was in LOVE with this fridge because it had a space for drinks.
Seriously, how good a mood do you have to be in to take pics of a fridge??!

And THEN he saw this.


Major appliances. Are you feelin' me now?

And then his dad called to ask him a computer question and he was in HEAAAAVEEEEN!

Long story short on the furniture, we never did find anything. So the saga continues.

I'm on a mission from God.

The ringer is dead ;-(

There was so much activity today that the battery in my phone actually died.

May it rest in peace.

Stop the spinning, I wanna get off now

When last we left our heroes yesterday, S was heading to KS for nebulous reasons.

She finally called me. DS' dad, G's, wife/girlfriend/whatever-the-hell-she-is has decided that she didn't like S being there. So she told G to tell DS to tell S that she had to go. (Didja get all that?)

So I get home, and first thing I had a talk with E. Holy cow, talk about Jekyll & Hyde... I don't remember if it was "S" or "TX" that turned him, but it was like this past month had never happened. He yelled and growled and stomped around the house. He's so afraid of what S is going to be like... and S is so afraid that E is going to be the same person as he was in TX... do you think they're old enough to understand a self-fulfilling prophecy?

When E came back with me after graduation, CR had not been informed that he was leaving that soon. And he was like, "Ok, see ya. Bye." And I was in trouble again.

This time, I told S that she had to inform her mother. She said she would after CR woke up. (In my birthday haze yesterday, I'd forgotten it was CR's day off. 2 more demerits.) I texted her last night to ask if she'd informed CR and no, of course she hadn't. So I told her she HAD to get that info to her. Well, by then it was after CR's normal time to leave for work. (Of course, since it was her day off that was not valid ... yeah, yeah, yeah. 2 demerits for me.) I'd said, "Call her, leave a voicemail, text her, whatever. Just notify her." So she texted. Later I got a text from S that said, "Done."

Today, the day started with an 8:30 meeting. Of course you know that I'm not a morning person, but with the muscle relaxers I have to take for my TMJ, it's truly a challenge just to get out of bed. I had to set 2 more alarms (which brought the grand total up to 6... or maybe 7... I can't keep track). Even then, by the time I got here my right eye still wasn't working. You know those puzzles that when you "relax" your eyes you see a different image? Well that's what my eyes do. Only instead of another image, there's two of everything. So I have to close one eye to see where the real cars are. Poor me, I know.

Post meeting, I saw that there was vmail on my phone. It's an ANGRY message from CR. Woo-hoo! The gist was, "Why are you taking away my kid {read: grandchild}" That's it, I'm the bad guy. I called her and she didn't answer so I left the reader's digest version in her vmail. Then I called my mother. I basically told her that I'm tired of getting yelled at for taking care of HER children. *I* could use a little support in this matter instead of getting beat up all the time since I'm trying to do the right thing. She's like, "Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Well, how 'bout the next time she calls you all whining and crying you take MY side for a change? AAARRRGGHH!

Moving on with the day, I try to get a rental car scheduled. They're all out of minivans. Wonderful. But he'll check and try to see what's available in the other locations and get back to me.

Called E to remind him to call the doctor.

CR called me back. Still angry, but less projecting anger at me, if that makes any sense. I recapped what I'd left in the voicemail. First she wants to complain about how S never does anything at home... and how G's wife/whatever is probably angry about that. I can neither confirm nor deny. Then she wants to re-hash E's whole trip to his paternal relatives. Oh sure, its not like I'm working or anything... plus, that was SO last week. Blah, blah, blah, making a pass at his step-mom... blah, blah, blah, E's truck broke down... blah, blah, blah.

Got the new power supply today. Oh, I think I forgot the mention this one. For Christmas I got the TX clan a very expensive piece of network equipment that would protect them from the risky [internet] behavior that the kids had of surfing the music/whatever download sites. They couldn't figure out why they all had spyware. Hmmmmmm... let's think for a second... So I got this equipment for them. All they had to do was PLUG IT IN. My company sells these, so we would set it up and manage it, they just had to PLUG IT IN. But "big D" didn't understand how it worked, so he wouldn't plug it in. ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME???!? Nope. I said, "If I was a heart surgeon and I told you you needed a pace maker and you didn't understand how that worked, would you not get that either?" So fine. I took it back when I was down there for graduation. It was out of the box, so I got a Walmart bag full of parts. When I went to plug it in at home, I discovered there was no power supply. So I had to order a $17 power supply. Which I realize is small change compared to the thousands I've laid out lately, but it's the principal. Bitter? Party of one...

Then my mother called with news from the court house. Last weekend, when I was in KC, I'd asked her to call the courthouse to get a copy of E's name change papers. See, he was born with my last name/CR's maiden name. Then, when he was 6 mo. old, CR got married to J, so they changed his last name to J's last name. Only the birth certificate says my last name. In order to get his license changed to KS, he has to show his current license and another form of ID, and birth certificate first on the list. So I ordered a copy of the birth certificate. But the license says J's last name. And I have no paper trail to explain how he got from A to B. CR said she had a copy of the court papers, but since the move hasn't been able to lay her hands on them. So I asked mom to get me a copy.

And the court house told her... wait for it... HIS NAME HAS NEVER BEEN LEGALLY CHANGED! Apparently she was supposed to send something in after she got the document that's been stapled to his birth certificate all these years, but she never did. She's just shown this document to everyone and nobody asked any questions. So all of E's paperwork, social security stuff, etc., says J's last name, but it's not E's legal last name. Everyone keeping up here?

I called CR and she said, "Oh yeah... I sorta remember that. I was gonna send it in, but I got busy..." aaaand now it's 18 years later.

I called E and told him and he said, "That's interesting." What do you want your last name to be? "Dad's." Of course. Not that either answer is going to be simple to fix.

I finally get a hold of S (who still doesn't have a cell phone because she smashed hers to bits in the Walmart parking lot fight, remember?) to confirm that she's coming this weekend. Thank God I called because she changed her mind. Her and the wife/whatever have kissed and made up and now everything is hunky dory.


The sun is staring at me like, "But the day has more to offer!" I told it to shut the hell up.

MD & other pics

E has had a pet turtle for ... gosh, maybe 3 years now. It's a tiny turtle that he keeps in a baking dish. He always brought it with him when they'd come for a visit (it's "carrier" is an old tub of butter).

He was over at my friend, J's, over the weekend to help clean out her garage (He's officially for hire if your garage needs some organization!) and somehow the turtle came up in the conversation. So I thought it would be fun to post some pictures of the turtle that E calls, "MD" (which stands for Master of Destruction).

Click on the picture to see a BIG version.

This is MD after we woke him up. He'd been "sleeping" in the water at the bottom of the dish and I insisted he was dead. He wasn't.

This is MD eating. It's hilarious. He sorta sneaks up on the little turd-looking thing, and stretches his neck waaaay out, and SNAP! Like the food is going to get away from him somehow.

While I'm talking about pictures, never leave the camera at home. You never know what you're going to find on the memory card.

E was supposed to be taking pictures of some stuff I want to sell on ebay. But when I got the card back, I found:

A picture of his truck in my garage... with the door shut to PROVE that it actually fits. (I told him it didn't matter; it was still MY garage.) Plus many, many more pics of the truck (which I won't bore you with)... just because he had a camera in his hand, I guess.

Whoops I said I wouldn't bore you... sorry. Oh, this reminds me: we went to sign the papers on his car insurance the other day and on the way in he saw a Chevy truck that had a Ford logo in the middle of the Chevy logo. (Apparently it was a joke played on the Chevy owner.) He exclaimed, "What is THIS??!? A TRANSEXUAL truck?!"

His PC... and big foot.

I didn't see this one coming

Last Sunday S called me. Usually I can tell what the tone of the conversation will be by the way she says hello. For example, if it's her little girl voice, then she's buttering me up for something. But the greeting was pretty vanilla, so I had no idea what was coming.

Back before DS & S started dating, he was something of a wild child. He was going out and partying all the time. This was perfectly acceptable behavior in his family as his dad is an addict (supposedly in NA), and his sister is a big partier as well.

When they met, S knew this about him and told him that she wouldn't date him until he stopped doing drugs. He told me on more than one occasion that she saved his life by doing that.

S is now living with DS. She hated being at home, and no one said no to this arrangement, so that's what it is.

Well, the whole conversation was about DS doing drugs again. More than once she had caught him with pot. Also, he had an old knee injury that was being aggravated by his job, so he started buying painkillers from some dealer he knew. And he started complaining about not seeing his old friends, which was the big party crew he used to hang out with.

To compound the situation, DS' dad is no longer clean. She's seen pills (& more) scattered all over his nightstand.

Aside from the basic instinct of wanting to run from the room screaming like a little girl, I was really impressed with how grown-up the conversation was. S wasn't crying or throwing a fit. I tried very hard not to do the same. I also expressed my concern over the volatility of the situation and how I was very very concerned for her safety.

We had a long talk about addicts, which, as most of you know, my loser brother has given me lots of experience on that subject. And we talked about tough love, and all that. I told her that it was unlikely that this situation was going to fix itself and she'd better be thinking about where she was going to draw the line in the sand.

The conversation ended with nothing resolved. I think she just needed to talk and I tried to listen and not judge.

So today I get a text from her:

I dont know what im going to do right now. He wants me here but he is telling me i have to leave

So many questions... when? Right now? Soon? Why?

He wants me to come up there. I really don't know when

"I'm happy for you to be here whenever you're ready." I replied. "Not to rush you, but this weekend would work really well for me since it's a three day weekend." But she wanted to spend Saturday morning at the 4th of July parade with DS. So I offered to drive down Saturday, which would put me there in the evening and then we'd have to drive back on Sunday.

Go ahead and do it. Im not staying with mom

I asked her to call me, which she hasn't yet. I don't want to rent the van only to have her change her mind. (You remember 17, don't you?) But I really, really want her out of there. I also don't know why DS would want her to leave, other than they have been fighting a lot about his drug use. Frankly I don't care why, except it might help me understand what's going through her mind.

Stay tuned... same BAT time... same BAT channel...