About a year or more ago I started planting a seed with S that I wanted her to come back to KS to go to college. First she said yes, then no, then yes... you get the picture. As an added incentive for college, I promised all the kids many moons ago (when I used to make a lot more money) that I'd give them a laptop for graduation if they'd go to college. (If any of you are thinking of using this tatic, don't do it. It doesn't work.)
Then she started dating DS and lost her perfect sense of equilibrium. It was DS all day, every day, all the time. Thankfully, DS is a pretty good kid. He, too, has a screwed up home life, so he fits right in. :-)
DS planned on going to college, but he had no plans of leaving TX. So on my next visit I had a little talk with him. He was almost beligerent when he replied, "S & I are not breaking up." Right or wrong I made the decision there that it was more important that S go to college. So I replied, "Nobody's asking you to." By the time I left he was all, "Shoot yeah I'll go to KS! Maybe I'll like it so much I'll stay!"
Until DS, S was an A/B student. After DS... eh, not so much. However, she excelled long enough to be offered the opportunity to graduate a year early. Since DS had already graduated, S whole-heartedly took that option. DS was waiting to go to college so that he and S could go at the same time. (Isn't that just prescious?)
At the beginning of the 2008, S & DS had planned to go to a nearby community college in TX. However, when I took E to visit a community college in KS, I got a call that S & DS had applied to a community college near me. (Apparently, despite repeated attempts, the TX college had not received / acknowledged DS' transcripts. After the 3rd or 4th try, S decided to apply at the college near me.) Their letters arrived on the same day, and blew shit all over me. Here I was having a great time with E, only to be accused of some master manipulation of S & DS and what college they were going to. Ok, #1, I really didn't know in advance; I found out with everyone else. #2, it was no secret (unlike this blog, so if you see someone from my family DON'T TELL THEM!) that I had been trying to convince S to go to college near me. #3, why does it bother CR so that she found out in the doctor's office vs. home? So CR calls my mom, my mom calls me and I get my ear chewed off for "plotting" against them. Paranoid much?
When I took E back from the college visit, I sat down with S & DS and had the "there's going to be rules" discussion. They didn't care. DS wanted away from his dad; S wanted away from her "psycho" mother. (Seriously, I'd be talking to C on the phone and in the background I'd hear S screaming at the top of her lungs, "You're PSYCHO!!!" Ahhhh, to be 17 again...)
But here's the extra dollup of drama: DS is on probation. He and some of his friends were horsing around one night at a QT. At some point DS knocked down a paramedic. 3 months later the paramedic decided to press charges.
So when the move was decided, I told him to get in contact with his probation officer immediately and find out what needed to be done in order for him to be able to move. However, having not ever known anyone on probation before, I didn't know any other suggestions &/or questions to ask. A week (or maybe it was two ... who keeps track?) later I got a message from him that he'd talked to his probation officer and it was going to be "NO PROBLEM." (That should have been my first clue...)
Fast forward... now it's the day before graduation, the same day I'm driving to TX, the same day I rented a mini-van to carry my extra passengers and I get a message from DS about his probation officer. I didn't understand the message, and it was a very busy day for me, so I elected to call him later.
So I'm driving, driving, driving (it's a long effing drive to TX, I tell you that!) and suddenly I have a voicemail. My phone does that sometimes. Sometimes it keeps a voicemail for daaaays before it tells me about them. Nice, huh? So if you think I'm not returning your call, just know that it's my phone, not me. Anyway, the voicemail is S crying, "DS can't go!
Turns out that the probation office that told DS it was "NO PROBLEM" was the p.o. for their little town. The case actually exists in Fort Worth, which is where the real probation office lives. And she told him, "Who the F are you to think we can just LET you go to another state?" (Ok, I'm paraphrasing, just a little.) He was shocked because of what the other guy said... suffice to say the meeting did not go well.
Next thing I know, I'm getting up at oh-dark-thirty (or maybe it was 8:30... my eyes don't really focus until after 10) and driving to Fort Worth. No sense of direction, and un-focusing eyes. That's the best way to get to FW. That was fun: my mother navigating with the GPS on my phone. "The screen is too tiny! I can't see!" Can you see if I'm still on the right path? "No." Oh, give me the phone back so I can hold it and pretend like I know where I'm going. Parking was $5/15 min. The criminals are not just in the court houses down there. Then we went to the wrong building, where they practically strip-searched us to get in. Everyone kept asking for my case number. I was apalled that they thought I looked like a felon. Besides, how many of them bring their mother's in tow? Good times.
When we finally get there, she's like, "And who are you again? One of DS' relatives?" No. He's just dating my niece... with whom he fathered a child, due in December. Yep, that's right boys and girls: Me, E, S, DS, and baby makes 5! Woo-hoo! Par-taaay!
An hour later, the main p.o. & I are bff's. She doesn't hate DS anymore. He still can't go anywhere, but she's willing to help things go in his favor. Only now I have to write a "letter of support" for him. Arrrgh. I get as far as, "To whom it may concern" and then I get writer's block. What was I thinking?? His case is up for review in August. S decided to stay in TX until he can come. (Surprise, surprise)
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