I didn't see this one coming

Last Sunday S called me. Usually I can tell what the tone of the conversation will be by the way she says hello. For example, if it's her little girl voice, then she's buttering me up for something. But the greeting was pretty vanilla, so I had no idea what was coming.

Back before DS & S started dating, he was something of a wild child. He was going out and partying all the time. This was perfectly acceptable behavior in his family as his dad is an addict (supposedly in NA), and his sister is a big partier as well.

When they met, S knew this about him and told him that she wouldn't date him until he stopped doing drugs. He told me on more than one occasion that she saved his life by doing that.

S is now living with DS. She hated being at home, and no one said no to this arrangement, so that's what it is.

Well, the whole conversation was about DS doing drugs again. More than once she had caught him with pot. Also, he had an old knee injury that was being aggravated by his job, so he started buying painkillers from some dealer he knew. And he started complaining about not seeing his old friends, which was the big party crew he used to hang out with.

To compound the situation, DS' dad is no longer clean. She's seen pills (& more) scattered all over his nightstand.

Aside from the basic instinct of wanting to run from the room screaming like a little girl, I was really impressed with how grown-up the conversation was. S wasn't crying or throwing a fit. I tried very hard not to do the same. I also expressed my concern over the volatility of the situation and how I was very very concerned for her safety.

We had a long talk about addicts, which, as most of you know, my loser brother has given me lots of experience on that subject. And we talked about tough love, and all that. I told her that it was unlikely that this situation was going to fix itself and she'd better be thinking about where she was going to draw the line in the sand.

The conversation ended with nothing resolved. I think she just needed to talk and I tried to listen and not judge.

So today I get a text from her:

I dont know what im going to do right now. He wants me here but he is telling me i have to leave

So many questions... when? Right now? Soon? Why?

He wants me to come up there. I really don't know when

"I'm happy for you to be here whenever you're ready." I replied. "Not to rush you, but this weekend would work really well for me since it's a three day weekend." But she wanted to spend Saturday morning at the 4th of July parade with DS. So I offered to drive down Saturday, which would put me there in the evening and then we'd have to drive back on Sunday.

Go ahead and do it. Im not staying with mom

I asked her to call me, which she hasn't yet. I don't want to rent the van only to have her change her mind. (You remember 17, don't you?) But I really, really want her out of there. I also don't know why DS would want her to leave, other than they have been fighting a lot about his drug use. Frankly I don't care why, except it might help me understand what's going through her mind.

Stay tuned... same BAT time... same BAT channel...