It's Just Too Much

Last week, when I talked to CR, she had mentioned that both she and Big D were in hot water at their jobs. Mostly because they had only one vehicle. She couldn't stay as late as her boss wanted, and if she stayed late at all, it made Big D late for work.

While E was on the bus, I suppose he was somewhere in Oklahoma, CR called me to say the truck had been repossessed. And while they have 4 vehicles in their back yard, apparently none of them are running. It would cost about the same amount to get one of them running as it would to go out and buy some cheap piece of sh!t.

Once again I tried to convince CR that the cost of living in KS is cheaper than her resort town in TX. I was wasting my breath. I doubt Big D will ever leave TX.

Boy, E sure knows how to pick the right time to go for a "visit", eh? Actually, it probably is a good time because that's how CR's house always is: all chaos, all the time.

CR told my mother that she's going to try and convince E to come back to live with me. And when I talked to CR on Saturday, she told me (for the first time!) that E living with me was the right place for him to be. I nearly dropped the phone.

I know E wants to be in TX. He misses his friends and family. He's also under the delusion that he can bypass the formal paperwork for getting a job and work his family connections. Only he doesn't know about Big D's situation. And Big D's step-dad was recently laid off. So much for family connections.

Honestly, I don't even know what to hope for during his visit. He won't have his medicine while he's there. CR was very clear that she could not afford to put him on her insurance at work, much less pay for his meds.

Financially, I'm in a very bad place. So, him moving back to TX would at least allow me to work on the mountain of debt.

And as long as I'm airing my dirty laundry, it doesn't seem like I'm going to be able to adopt S's baby. Turns out, adoptions are very expensive! It will cost between $5,000 - $10,000 to get all the paperwork done.

Now before y'all respond and tell me that I can't save everyone, I want to share a phrase that I was reminded of driving into work today. Years ago I used to have several books on Murphy's Law. They each had oodles and kaboodles of corollaries and postulates based on the original, "If anything can go wrong, it will." The one that popped into my brain was, "If you can keep your head when everyone around you is losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation."

If my family goes down the drain, dragging the kids along with it, what is the point if I keep my head above water?