Moral Dilema #312929193848583

I just want everyone to know I am substituting this blog for therapy. In case you hadn't figured it out... I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page.


This may feel very disjointed, but just try to go with it. I might be catching E's ADHD.


C called me today. I think she's only called once since she left KS, so it was good to hear from her. Sometimes when she calls she has nothing to say, she's just bored. So I hear about the wind, and the cats, and oh, an ant just crawled across the porch. But today she seemed to have an agenda.

First on the list, she hurt her leg. She had gotten up very early (before CR got home, which is at about oh-dark-thirty in the AM) to go bike riding with her friend who lives down the street. (I'm trying not to focus on the things I cannot control, so let's not zoom in on 2 teenage girls, riding around in the country, at that scary hour of the morning, and no adults within shouting distance... lalalalalalalalala) They go down a steep hill, skid, and C bangs up her leg pretty bad. Road rash for sure, plus some pretty deep cuts. C is hoping it will be healed in time for flag camp which is at the beginning of Aug.

When she gets home, she shows the leg to CR. Now, remember she and D are sharing the truck. CR says, "Why didn't you call me? I could have taken you to the hospital." But alas, with no other vehicle, there was no hospital visit in the cards as D had already left for work. CR tried to make a homemade butterfly on the severe cuts. It'll probably be fine, but what if it wasn't?

Next on the list: her neighbors have informed her that there are cobras, anacondas, water moccasins and MOUNTAIN LIONS that inhabit the area! Those, in addition to the SCORPIONS (that they've found in the house!)... and no way to get to the hospital.


Finally, she asks if I've talked to S lately. Which, no I haven't. But in my defense it is hard to get a hold of her since she doesn't have a phone, and you never know what house she's sleeping at. Oh, that was another tidbit C wanted to share. Apparently S's paternal grandmother, K, is going to buy her a new phone. Yeahyeahyeah, ok, I probably would have bought her a phone if I wasn't so tied up with E, but it would have been a crappy phone. I'm sure K will buy the best that Sprint has to offer. (Which means, of course, that I have to buy a new phone else my position at the top of the phone chain will be usurped by a teenager!? Nu-uh.)

C also told me that she told S that I was "poor" now (tho, she didn't know about the gold-plated pills, so she didn't realize exactly how poor) and that I would be really poor after buying E's bedroom furniture. S's response? "Oh well, she'll just work a bunch of overtime and then she can buy my bedroom furniture." 'Scuse me?

But C was just bubbling over to tell me that S and the baby-daddy, DS, have come up with a "plan B." If DS does not get his probation dismissed in August, meaning he won't be able to leave the state, he and S are going to go live with his mother in ... I can't remember the town, but somewhere else in TX. S is really fond of this idea because DS's mom has not mentioned that she will have to get a job.

The letter of support I'm supposed to write to his probation officer is actually the subject of my moral dilemma. Through various conversations I have put 2 and 2 together and surmised that he's doing drugs again. So, do I send the letter in or not?

If I send the letter in and they actually run a drug test (which they have yet to do, but which he most likely fail), does that have any implications on me... besides making me look clueless?

OTOH, what if I don't send the letter? There's less of a chance he'll get off probation... which means he'll continue to party with his friends, they'll move in with his mother, and S will continue to shirk her responsibility ... aaaaaand the cycle I've been trying to prevent starts all over again.

But now there's that whole blatant attitude of entitlement that S has. Maybe its too late. Maybe the cycle has already begun.

For the record, I'd never planned to buy her new bedroom furniture. I have an old set of mine in her intended bedroom and that will be fine. I did, however, commit to buying a bed since hers was given to little d, I believe.

Regardless... I'm embarrassed for her that she's acting like a spoiled brat. E doesn't have a job yet, but he is trying to pull his weight. I have no doubt that S would be sitting on the couch (eating bon-bons, if there were any in the house) all day watching TV.

I know nothing of DS's mother. Wait, I do know something. I know that in all the time he has been going out with S... having a terrible time at home with his own family drama, she has never come to town. Not once. And I'm sure I don't know all the times he was having problems with his father, but the ones I know about scream for a little support.

So that's all I really know. Granted, it's not a great impression, but does that mean it would be a bad choice? Dunno. I am very worried about not making S get a job. How do you teach responsibility without giving it? What happens after the baby comes? Will she make sure S is taking care of it? Will she just hire a nanny? Or will she let it scream in its crib for hours on end?

I don't know the answer to most of those questions, but I just talked myself into sending the letter.